Speedround - Straight From the Hose

09/30/2016 Views: 7

Donald Trump reacts to the first presidential debate, Charles Joughin gets used to his new job as the Titanic's chief baker, and Jay Larson shares the secret to a better life. (1:04)

- You walk on, you don't know exactly what to expect.

- No, Donald, you don'tknow what to expect.

(audience laughing)

Everyone else prepares.

Who is this guy?

- I'm not a good personfor the White House.

I am not a good person, period.

- Finally, someone who doesn't talk like a politician.

- Any baking that comesout of this voyage,

I am the guy that decides is it a pie or a cake?





I'm in charge.

- What's your favorite way to drink water?

From a glass.

This loser.

(audience laughing)

Now, my favorite way?

Out of a garden hose.


- Get off the couch, youstupid, lazy, small dick loser.

You wanna stop smoking that dirt weed with seeds in it?

It's easy.

If I was you, I would kill myself.

(bleep) you.


(audible inhaling)

- That's real talk, though.