Fortune Feimster - Genetics Didn't Work Out

Fortune Feimster Season 3, Ep 7 06/27/2014 Views: 4,773

Fortune Feimster isn't as concerned about getting roofied as you might think. (1:37)

Nah, genetics didn'twork out for me,

so that's why Iam a comic.

I figured my optionswere comedian,

softball coach or UPS driver.

I'm like,"Which one do I choose?!"

I picked comedy becauseI don't look good in brown.

That's not my color.

I do want to letyou guys to know

my drink, it's right there,

in case you wanted to roofie me.




I went to a women's college

where, like, the first monthof my freshman year

they had a seminar on date rapelike every week.

It gets funnier, I promise.


And their only advice was, uh...

their only advice to us iswhenever we went to a party

and we had a drink in our hand

and some dude cameanywhere near our vicinity,

all they told us to dowas take our hand

and put it over our drinkand go,



Guys would run away, like,"What the (bleep)?"

And it worked, too.

We never got laid.

And if you think about it,

it's only hot peoplethat get pissed off

about being roofied.


Every time I go to a bar,

I'm like,"My drink's in the corner.

It's completely unattended."