Hardcore Baby

Season 1 , Ep 108 05/25/12 Views: 5,110

Nick Vatterott knows that a hardcore baby gets tired from playing all day long. (2:42)

I can do some, ah, charactersfor you right now.

This is a hardcore baby.

"All right, check it out.

"I'm a hardcore baby.

Aww... waah..."

"Yo, I'm tired." "Mm-hmm."

"I'm, like, for reals tired.

Like, for reals tired.""Mm-hmm."

"I wore myself outplaying all day long

"'cause I'm a hardcore baby.

"Oh... waah.

"Hey, yo, check it out.

I'll go to my crib, right?""Mm-hmm."

"There's a baby girl in my crib.

"I'm like, 'Hey, yo, baby girl,

"'This ain't Twitter,this ain't Facebook.

This is MySpaceHardcore Baby.'"


"Oh, waah."

Hey, I know I come offas a hardcore baby,

mm-hmm,but I do have a soft spot.


There's a guythat does commercials

for a furniture store.

"Come on downto Tom's Furniture!

"We're having Tom Dayall Tom Weekend long!

"Take ten percent off all

"Tom tables, Tom chairsand Tom sofas!

"It's Tom Day, so come on downto Tom's Furniture

and ask for me, Pete!"


This a lady from Wisconsinhaving sex.

(clears throat)

(takes deep breath)

(falsetto):"Oh, yeah.

"Oh, sure.

"Oh, sure...

"Oh, don't even worryabout it.

"Don't even worry about it.


I asked my buddywhat his favorite song was.

He goes, "Can't Stop Believin'."

I go, "What song is that?

He goes, "You know,Journey, man."

♪ Can't stop believin'.

I go, "You mean,'Don't Stop Believin''?"

It's pretty badif you don't even know

the right words to yourfavorite song, you know.

"Can't Stop Believin'"?

That's just about a guywho's gullible, you know.

He goes, "Yeah, what's yourfavorite song, then?"

I go, "Bear Rug For Kevin."

I did it right back to him,you know.

Because "Bear Rug For Kevin,"what song is that?

I was like, "Oh, I don't know.

Only the greatest classic rocksong of all time".

♪ And she's buying

♪ A bear rug

♪ For Kevin.

(cheering and applause)