Matt Braunger - Jager Hulk

Matt Braunger: Shovel Fighter Season 1, Ep 1 07/14/2012 Views: 9,101

While walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans, Matt Braunger sees a frightening encounter between two strangers -- and at least one of them is nauseous. (1:36)

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Like, if you ever goto New Orleans

[cheers and applause]Yeah?

Oh, it's the best.It's the best.

But if you ever goto New Orleans

and you walkdown Bourbon Street,

you hear "the sound"like crickets in a field.

You don't know

where it's coming from.

[imitating "the sound"]

"Was that you?""Was what me?

Ughh. What?"[yells]

Like, I was walkingdown the street,

and there's a little guyhaving a glass of wine, right?

And this huge guy comesbarreling down the street,

like my height,twice as wide, hammered drunk.

What I like to calla Jaeger Hulk, right?

And he's coming down the streetlike, "Jaeger!"

Punching cars and lampposts,

hurting his handsmore than anything.

Jaeger Hulkhas no real power.


He catches the little guy,like, grabs him

like a bear would a salmon.

Amazing speedfor his size.

Like, boom,just holds him, right?

And I'm like,"Oh, are they friends?

Are they lovers?"What's going on here, right?

And the little guy's like,"Who are you?

Get your hands off me."

I'm like, "Oh, they're notfriends or lovers.

This is assault."


All the big guy says is...[makes "the sound"]


And the little guyknew the sound.

He's like, "Help!Help me!"

Like, we can't, man.

It's like you steppedon a mine.

We all heard the click.We'll all die.

Take one for the team.

And he painted himlike Sherwin-Williams.