Tracy Morgan - South African Sprinter

Tracy Morgan: Bona Fide Season 1, Ep 101 04/20/2014 Views: 7,155

Is it considered cheating to run on two pancake spatulas with hydraulics in the Olympics? (1:59)

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IT'S GETTING DARK, MAN.

GOT THE SOUTH AFRICAN RUNNER,THE SPRINTER --

REMEMBER IN THE OLYMPICSWITH THE TWO FAKE LEGS?

KILLED HIS GIRLFRIEND.

THAT'S CRAZY, LADIES.WHAT A WAY TO GO.

YOU LET A DUDEWITH TWO FAKE LEGS KILL YOU?

Y'ALL BEEN FIGHTINGFOR LIKE THREE WEEKS, MAN.

YOU SEEN IT COMING.JUST HIDE ONE OF HIS LEGS, MAN.

AS SOON AS HE STARTSBLINKING FAST,

THAT MEAN HE'S COMINGTO GET YOU, YOU KNOW?

"I'M-A HIDEONE OF HIS LEGS TOMORROW,

'CAUSE HE LOOK LIKE HE WANTTO BE ACTIVE WITH HIS HANDS.

HE WON'T GET ACTIVE AND VIOLENTWITH ME AND DOMESTIC WITH ME."

FELLAS,DON'T BE HITTING NO WOMEN.

YOU'RE A PUNK IF YOU PUTYOUR HANDS ON A WOMAN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]THAT'S RIGHT.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT.

WHAT YOU DO IS BEATHER BROTHER'S ASS.

EVERY TIMESHE GET ON YOUR NERVES,

YOU GO GET A SKI MASKAND AN ALUMINUM BAT

AND MEET HIM IN A PARKING LOTAT HIS JOB.

AND WEAR HIM OUT.

PUT HIM IN A WHEELCHAIR WHEREBOTH HIS FEET GO LIKE THIS.

AND AT THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS,YOU WALK BY HER,

WHISPER IN HER EAR,"I DID THAT TO YOUR BROTHER."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"ENJOY YOUR JUDGMENT."YOU KNOW?

HE KILLED HER, MAN.YOU DON'T DO THAT.

YOU KNOW, HE KILLED HER.

FIRST OF ALL,WHEN I SAW HIM RUNNING

IN THE OLYMPICS LAST YEAR,I WAS JUST LIKE YOU.

I WAS SHOCKED.I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS -- WHAT?

THAT'S CHEATING!"

THAT WAS CHEATING!

HE SHOULD BE RUNNING WITHOTHER PEOPLE WITH FAKE LEGS.

'CAUSE REAL LEGS GOT --THEY GOT WEIGHT. THEY GET TIRED.

HE NEVER GOT TIRED.

'CAUSE HE WAS RUNNINGON TWO PANCAKE SPATULAS

WITH HYDRAULICS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND AFTER THE RACE,

HE RAN HOMEAND HE KILLED HIS GIRLFRIEND

'CAUSE SHE WAS MAKING PANCAKESWITH ONE OF HIS FEET.

"YOU WANT SOME BLUEBERRIES?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"