Rondell Sheridan - Marriage Observer

Lounge Lizards: Rondell Sheridan Season 1, Ep 0102 07/17/2002 Views: 2,015

The moment a guy says, "I do," his pants are replaced with a tennis skirt. (2:05)

>> See, basically, guys, when

they get married, they think

they're going to wear the pants

in the family.

I've never been married.

I just watch my friends who are

married.

I take notes.

Because something happens.

Any guy here that's been married

longer than five years, you

know.

The moment you said, "I do," you

heard... ( imitating pants being

removed )

The pants were gone.

You're wearing a little tennis

skirt now.

( laughter )

I'll give you a perfect example.

A couple of years back I go to

visit my best friend Keith.

Keith I've known for 27 years.

I show up at his house, knock on

the door, and I go, "Hey, man,

let's go do something."

And he says he can't because

Tracy, his wife, isn't feeling

well, and he promised he'd pick

up the slack and do the grocery

shopping.

And I said, "Well, hey, I'll

come back in a couple hours."

He goes, "No, it's going to take

a long time," because Tracy gave

him a list.

"It's going to take a long

time."

And I said, "Well, look, if

you've already got the list, why

don't you rip it in half, you

take half, I'll take half, we'll

be done in half the time."

He goes, "Great idea."

So I go with him, I have my half

of the list, I'm zipping through

the store, putting stuff in the

cart, and I come across and

aisle, and Keith has this look

on his face.

( laughter )

And I walk up to him, I go,

"What the hell are you doing?"

And he's just mumbling over and

over again, "Oreo cookies.

Man, I really want some Oreo

cookies."

So I say, "Why don't you buy

some Oreo cookies?"

He says, "Not on the list."

( laughter )

I said, "Keith, you're 37 years

old.

Buy some ( bleep ) Oreo

cookies."

He says, "No, I'll get in

trouble."

( laughter )

So I'm just kidding.

I say to my best friend, "Are

you or are you not the man of

the house?"

And he says, "Sometimes, when

she's not home."

( laughter )

So I talk my best friend into

buying a bag of Oreo cookies.

The moment we get back to the

house, he zips in so he can

hide his stash of Oreo cookies.

Like his wife Tracy won't notice

his blackened teeth when he

walks through the house.