You know, I know my dad now.You know?
Like, I, you know,know him well.
I know his games, you know?
You just got to... relax,and let my dad be my dad.
I used to get upset about it.
Not anymore, you know?
Like, he's got this,he's got this thing that he does
where he takes situationsthat aren't gay,
makes them gay,and then involves
some Latino guyI've never heard of.
That's his move.
It's just, like,what this guy does.
Like, is a stiff necka gay thing?
Has that ever been a gay thingin the history of gay things?
It's not a gay thing.
It's a head and neckmuscle spasm.
You get it from sleeping wrongon a pillow.
I have a condition,I get stiff necks.
I come down the stairsthe other day, I was like,
"Dad, I got a stiff neck,you know?
Guess I was sleeping wrongon the pillow."
He's like,"You're sleeping wrong.
"On the pillow.
"Chris, come on.
You out blowing Robertolast night?"
"Latin boyfriend Roberto.
"Kid thinks I don't knowabout Roberto."
He does this to me all the time.
Like, once the Oscars
and the New York Knick gamewere on the same exact time.
Just a coincidence.I don't make the TV schedules.
He's like,"What do you want to do tonight?
"You want to watch the Oscars
"or you want to watchthe Knick game?
"You want to watch the Oscars?
You go do that shit with Julio."
Who the hell is Julio?
"Latin boyfriend Julio.
Kid thinks I don't know."
I thought it was Roberto?
"So, it is Roberto!"
But he is supportive.(stammers)
My dad's a very supportive man.
Which, you know, I gotto give him credit for that.
You know? Like, anythingI wanted to do, he'd be...
Like, if I was like, "Dad,I want to quit comedy tomorrow.
I want to be a ballerina."
He'd be like, "Whoa!
"That's gay. But you know what?
"Know a guy that'll get youa good tutu.
I know a guy down in Brooklynwho does tutus.
"He's a good kid.Get you pink, something nice.
"I'm there for you.
(bleep) do your spins."