Andy Kindler - Crack Babies

Kightlinger, Posehn, Kindler Season 2, Ep 19 05/19/1993 Views: 1,598

How would you even find a pipe that small? (1:21)

This was horrible.

Six months ago I dated thiswoman for three weeks--

for three weeks, and then shetold me that she had a penis.

I was-- I thought wewere just role-playing.

It was unbelievable.

And I was so shockedand embarrassed by it.

It took me three moreweeks to convince

her to start wearing condoms.

That's how-- howwould I-- how would

I possible come up with that?

I never felt better though.

Ever since I switchedto the clean syringes,

I've never felt bettermy entire life, you know?

There's no reason why you can'tenjoy the intravenous drugs

and be careful at the same time.

That's my lesson to thekids in the preschools

and kindergartens and the--when you go to the beach,

carry some bleach.

Just a little rhyme that thekids can take home with them.

There's so many horribledrug problems-- crack babies.

Crack babies?

How would you evenfind a pipe that small?

That'd be my firstquestion, right there.

The kids shouldn't beplaying with glass.

That's the important thing.

If I have anymessage tonight, it's

we must find a saferway to get the crack

into the infants,ladies and gentlemen.

I think all drugsshould be legalized.

I really do.

I think peopleshould have the right

to take whatever they want.They want to take cyanide?

Cyanide should be legal.

It should be availablein big, colorful gel

caps advertised on TV.

Hey, forget about Sominex!

Get a really good night's sleep.