The Democratic NationalConvention
is at the end of next month,which means
Hillary Clinton is running outof time to accomplish
two important goals.Number one--
find an outfitthat doesn't make her look
like Gary Oldman's characterfrom The Fifth Element.
win ancient snow crabBernie Sanders over to her side.
That's why the two of themgot together on Tuesday
to learn what it would taketo get his endorsement.
Here he is trying
to get more packets of creamerfor his coffee.
This is all a very private,casual affair.
Hillary ordered a pint of beer,
and Bernie ordered his favoritecocktail-- Gas-X on a Beach.
But hopefully, they sort ofcame to an agreement?
Such as... (as Bernie):"I'll endorse Hillary
"if she promisesa $15 minimum wage, or
"I'll endorse Hillary ifshe brings me a elixir of life
that allows meto live through the convention."
So comedians, what aresome other possible concessions
that came out of their secretTuesday meeting?
-Paul F. -Hillary agreesto attend Hamilton
and describe it to Bernie.
(laughter and groaning)
-Points. Points. Paget.-BREWSTER: Oh!
Hillary and Berniewill part brokenhearted,
but they will agreeto meet a year later
at the topof the Empire State Building.
-(laughter, applause)-You're a gentleman.
Just a game.