Jak Knight - Chasing White Swans

Weekend at Adam's Season 3, Ep 10 05/05/2016 Views: 1,611

Jak Knight reveals why he calls white women swans and tells a story about a date that didn't end the way he wanted it to. (1:57)

Hmm, I call white women swans.You know?

'Cause they're whiteand majestic

and people get upset whenI chase them through parks.

[laughter]

This is what I do.

I get a whole bunchof white girl bread crumbs,

like, Taylor Swift albums,

and animal cruelty petitions

and I put 'emin a little clump

and I goand hide in a bush

and wait for a whole flockof y'all to come,

and I wait,and I go, "Ah-aaaah! "

I don't want catch you.I like watching you run.

Run, Marissa.Run.

Hop in your Mini Cooperor your Yaris or some shit.

She dropping "People" magazinesand shit,

like, "Where you going?Where you going?"

"Stop!"

[laughter]

I'm glad we're all here.

We can talk shita little bit.

It's good.Here's the thing, uh, ladies.

When you're a dude,young dude,

sometimes you gointo a girl's house

and think you're gonnahave sex with her,

and you don't.

[laughter]

And that's justhow shit goes.

Yeah, you just got to wake upin the morning with a dead arm

with not your hair on it,

a wrinkled shirt,and a double-hard dick.

Like, a double-hard dick,

because the intentionsof you having sex

and morning wood overlapped.

That happened to me recently.

I thought I was gonnahave sex with this girl

and she was,like, "Nah,"

so instead of tryingto, like, charm my way

past what she was saying,

I grabbed a whole bunchof grapes off her desk

and went downstairs and watchedNetflix with her mom.

[laughter]

Yeah, she stilllived with her mom

so we were bothdisappointed in her.

[laughter]

Her mom was trying to havea conversation with me

like I didn't havea hard dick for her daughter.

She's like, "What do youthink about 'Narcos'?

Really catching on.I'm on the third episode."

I'm just pushingthis pillow down

on this angry hard dick.

Like, angry hard, like,with a vein on its forehead,

banging on my basketball shorts,like,

"Nigga,you made me a promise.

"You said in the carI was gonna be getting some

"and now you can'teven follow through

"'cause you're talking too much.Shut up.

"Just let her do--don't put yourhands on me in the bathroom.

This is not the time."

[laughter]