Hmm, I call white women swans.You know?
'Cause they're whiteand majestic
and people get upset whenI chase them through parks.
This is what I do.
I get a whole bunchof white girl bread crumbs,
like, Taylor Swift albums,
and animal cruelty petitions
and I put 'emin a little clump
and I goand hide in a bush
and wait for a whole flockof y'all to come,
and I wait,and I go, "Ah-aaaah! "
I don't want catch you.I like watching you run.
Hop in your Mini Cooperor your Yaris or some shit.
She dropping "People" magazinesand shit,
like, "Where you going?Where you going?"
I'm glad we're all here.
We can talk shita little bit.
It's good.Here's the thing, uh, ladies.
When you're a dude,young dude,
sometimes you gointo a girl's house
and think you're gonnahave sex with her,
and you don't.
And that's justhow shit goes.
Yeah, you just got to wake upin the morning with a dead arm
with not your hair on it,
a wrinkled shirt,and a double-hard dick.
Like, a double-hard dick,
because the intentionsof you having sex
and morning wood overlapped.
That happened to me recently.
I thought I was gonnahave sex with this girl
and she was,like, "Nah,"
so instead of tryingto, like, charm my way
past what she was saying,
I grabbed a whole bunchof grapes off her desk
and went downstairs and watchedNetflix with her mom.
Yeah, she stilllived with her mom
so we were bothdisappointed in her.
Her mom was trying to havea conversation with me
like I didn't havea hard dick for her daughter.
She's like, "What do youthink about 'Narcos'?
Really catching on.I'm on the third episode."
I'm just pushingthis pillow down
on this angry hard dick.
Like, angry hard, like,with a vein on its forehead,
banging on my basketball shorts,like,
"Nigga,you made me a promise.
"You said in the carI was gonna be getting some
"and now you can'teven follow through
"'cause you're talking too much.Shut up.
"Just let her do--don't put yourhands on me in the bathroom.
This is not the time."