Steve Wilson - New Love

  • Season 2 , Ep 0207
  • 05/24/2007
  • Views: 3,570

Steve respects couples who have been dating a long time. (2:29)

I just wanted to getthis out in the open--

I see we got a lotof couples are here,

and I just want to lety'all know, I hate couples.

That's right.As a matter of fact,

(bleep) y'all,I hope y'all break up.

(laughter)

That's right, I hate newcouples, that's what I hate.

Old couples I respect.

You been with somebodyten years, I respect that.

It's the new love I don't like,with all the car door opening

and kissing and touching

and dating, 'cause that's bull(bleep). You know.

Everybody here know real loveis when you don't give a damn

about each other,you know what I'm talking about?

You saw your parents.

Real love is when you live

in a house with somebody

and y'all don't even speak,just be walking,

"Look at this stupid,can't even...

Don't clean upafter yourself or nothing."

"You gonna pick the kids up?"

"Bitch, I did it yesterday!"

That's love.

(laughter)

My grandparents been togetherover 60 years.

Don't clap--they hate each other.

Every time my grandmammawalk in a room, my granddaddy

be like, "(bleep) damn it,she's still alive."

(laughter)

Get me around oneof them new couples,

you know, when your friends

when they get a newrelationship, and when they get

on your nerves, 'cause I don'tgive a damn what you talk about,

somehow they're gonna flip it

into a conversationabout their new love.

That's how my roommate--I swear,

you could not make this up.

We was watching the news.

I'm like, "Look at thesetornadoes, man.

"That's terrible, man.

"These people lostall their stuff.

My heart goes out to them."

And he was like, "Boy, that'swhy I'm glad I'm with Pam."

I was like, "What the (bleep)does that have to do...?"

"...with a trailer park,you selfish..."

And they have sexall the time, you know.

That's what new couples do.They just do it

all the..."You want to do it?"

(falsetto):"Uh-huh."

You know.They don't know no better.

Do you know how hard it isto watch the Lakers game

when you hear somebodyin the other room having sex?

I'm sitting there tryingto watch the Lakers game.

All I hear is...

(moaning)

I'm like, "(bleep ) damnhe is in that (mumbling)."

I'm trying to watch the game,

but I'm turning the TV downso I can listen, like...

I caught myself repeatingeverything the girl said.

She's like, "Oh, Daddy!"

I was like, "Oh, Daddy."

I'm watching the gamein rhythm with them, like,

"This game is good as hell,boy, I tell you."

(laughter)

By the time they was finished,I was sitting on the couch

sweating and smokinga cigarette like...

Pam walked by, I was like,"You gonna call us?"

(laughing)

I love that girlright there, you know.

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