Adam Devine Is a Responsible Adult

Marriage Material Season 2, Ep 7 10/17/2014 Views: 5,861

After overhearing that Nikki Glaser doesn't think he's marriage material, Adam gets serious and proves her wrong. (1:50)

- GOOD EVENING, FRIENDS.

- HEY, ADAM.PERFECT TIMING.

WE SAVED YOUA GIANT JELL-O SHOT.

- YEAH, AND THE COOL THINGABOUT NEW ORLEANS

IS WE CAN DRINK IT IN HEREOR ON THE STREET.

- TRUE.- SO LET'S GO DO THAT.

- [laughing]

THE ONLY THING I'M GOING TO DOON THE STREET

IS PARALLEL PARK MY VOLVO

WITH ITS INDUSTRY-LEADINGSAFETY RATINGS.

PRETTY RESPONSIBLE CHOICE,WOULDN'T YOU SAY, NICOLE?

- IT'S NIKKI. I DON'T REALLYKNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CARS.

- IT'S A 2016.- WOW.

- I HAD TO MOVE A LOT OF THINGSAROUND WITH MY FOUR-ZERO-ONE K

AND MY HEDGE BONDS--JUST SHIFT AROUND MONEY

FROM DIFFERENT QUADRANTS,BANK'S QUADRANTS.

IT'S JUST ONE OF THE MANYMATURE THINGS THAT I DO

TO AFFORD LUXURY.- YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT, MAN.

STOP ACTING LIKE A DADAND JUST DO A SHOT WITH US.

- OH, COME ON.

HEY, MAN, GUYS, IT'S ADAM.HE'S KIDDING, COME ON.

HE'S A LEGITIMATE ALCOHOLIC.- I'M NOT.

- HE'S PROBABLY FUNNELED, LIKE,20 BEERS TODAY, HAVEN'T YOU?

- I HAVEN'T.LET ME TASTE IT.

NOPE, THE ONLY THINGI'M FUNNELING ARE PENNIES

INTO A COLLEGE SAVINGS ACCOUNTFOR ONE OF MY FUTURE CHILDREN

THAT MY WIFE IN THE FUTURE ISGOING TO BIRTH OUT OF HER PUSSY.

- ADAM, ARE YOU SHITTINGYOUR KHAKIS RIGHT NOW?

- I TYPED UP A SYLLABUS.- FOR WHAT?

- I TYPED IT UPBECAUSE I'M AN ADULT

WHO PLANS THINGSAHEAD OF TIME.

- THESE ARE HANDWRITTEN.- ARE THEY?

YES, I TYPED THEM WITH MY HAND.- SO YOU WROTE THEM.

- I WROTE THEM. THAT'S THE WORDTHAT I WAS USING FOR IT.

I'M SORRY THAT MY VERBIAGE-ILARYISN'T UP TO SNUFF.

BUT IT'S GETTING THERE, ANDI'M PART OF A WORD OF THE DAY

INTERNET PROGRAM,

OR PRO-GRAM, WHICH ISTHE FRENCH WAY TO SAY THAT,

SO I'M ALSO LEARNING FRENCH.

IF YOU CHECK SECTION "A,"PARAGRAPH...

ALSO "A."

IT SAYS THAT DAVE SHALL PERFORMSTAND-UP COMEDY RIGHT NOW.

ARE YOU READY, MY FRIEND?

[cheers and applause]