Robert Hawkins - Not Fair

  • Season 7, Ep 20
  • 07/03/2003
  • Views: 1,290

Men always get stuck with condom detail. (1:44)

YOU SPEND A GOOD $9, $10,

$11 ON 'EM...

[LAUGHTER]

YOU GET 'EM HOME AND THEY

LAY THERE LIKE A LUMP ON A LOG.

EXCUSE ME!

YOU BETTER GET UP AND...

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS BUYIN'

THE PIZZA?

MMM, THAT'S RIGHT.

AND I GAVE YOU A BITE,

WITH CRUST.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?

GIVE A HOOT AND HUG ME ROOT.

[LAUGHTER]

I GOTTA DO EVERYTHING!

I'VE GOTTA MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT

ENOUGH FOREPLAY SO YOU'RE TURNED

ON, BUT I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR MY

OWN BONER.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT, I'LL TAKE

CARE OF BOTH OF US, JUST RELAX.

AND GUESS WHO'S GOT CONDOM

DETAIL.

ME!

OF COURSE-- I'LL GET THE DISHES,

I'LL MOW THE LAWN, AND I'LL GRAB

THE CONDOMS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.

NOW CAN I HAVE AN ORGASM?

NO, NOT TILL YOU'RE DONE.

WELL, YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN

YOU'RE FINISHED.

I'LL JUST BE A PIECE OF BEEF

JERKY SITTIN' HERE WHEN YOU'RE

FINISHED, ALL DEHYDRATED.

WHAT, TWO-- THREE OF 'EM?

OKAY, NO, GO AHEAD, OTHERWISE

YOU'RE GONNA TALK CRAP ABOUT ME

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

BUT I'M NOT DONE YET.

I HAVE TO CUDDLE AND SAY ALL THE

RIGHT STUFF OR I'M AN ASS.

CUDDLE?

GET OFF.

I'M HOT FROM DOIN' ALL THE WORK!

GO GET ME A BAG OF ICE OR

SOMETHIN' I CAN CUDDLE WITH.

YOU GOT THE THERMOSTAT ON

176 DEGREES, ALL BUNDLED UP

IN BLANKETS.

[SHIVERING NOISES]

I GOT MY FACE IN THE FLOOR

LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN' COLD.

IS THAT A PENNY?

STEAM!

IS THAT A TIC-TAC?

STEAM!

"RUB MY SHOULDERS."

"RUB MY (BLEEP)."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

HUH?

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THAT

HAPPENS.

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU'RE LAUGHIN', GREAT.

IF YOU'RE THINKIN', "YEAH,

DUDE," THEN YOU'RE ALL SCREWED

UP.

YOU DON'T ACT LIKE THAT.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[LAUGHTER]

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