Lewis & Clark - Uncensored

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 08/20/2013
  • Views: 84,924

After being commissioned by Thomas Jefferson, Meriwether Lewis and William Clark embark on an adventure to map out newly purchased U.S. territory. (2:26)

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TODAY WE'RE GONNA TALKABOUT LEWIS AND CLARK.

- SO THOMAS JEFFERSONWAS PRESIDENT.

HE'S, LIKE, YEAH,I'M GONNA TAKE--

I'M GONNA DOUBLE THE EXPANSEOF AMERICA.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE.- YEAH.

- I HAVE NO IDEA.- WELL, WHAT IS OUT THERE?

- I'M GONNA BUY IT.I'M GONNA BUY IT.

SO HE BOUGHT IT, AND THEN HE HADTHIS DUDE WHO WAS HIS FRIEND

NAMED...- MERIWETHER LEWIS

- JEFFERSON IS TELLING THEM...- WE BOUGHT THIS LAND.

EXPLORE IT.MAKE ME A MAP.

HERE'S YOUR DEAL.

- LIKE A BANK, MAKE FRIENDSWITH THE [bleep] INDIANS.

- HERE'S THE DEALWITH MERIWETHER LEWIS, THOUGH...

HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER--- [belches]

- HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER.- HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER.

SO LEWIS IS TASKEDWITH PICKING A PARTNER,

AND HE PICKED CLARK.

UH, LEWIS SAYS, LIKE...

- THERE'S NO ONEI WOULD RATHER EXPLORE

THIS [bleep] UP TERRITORY WITHTHAN YOU.

THEY WANTED TO FINDA WATERWAY PASSAGE

TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

SO THEY STARTEDIN MISSOURI.

- THEY'RE SEEING THESEBEAUTIFUL [bleep]...

- LIKE, VALLEYS AND RIVERSAND MOUNTAINS

AND GORGEOUS ROCK FACESAND VALLEYS,

AND THESE CRAZY PLAINSTHAT GO ON FOREVER.

- AND THERE THEY [bleep] ARE.

SO THEY WERE, LIKE...- WE'RE--THIS IS OURS NOW

BECAUSE WE BOUGHT ITFROM THE [bleep] FRENCH.

- SO THEY'RE ON THE RIVER,AND THEY HEAR...

- THE NEXT TRIBE OVERARE [bleep]!

- THEY'RE--DUDE.THEY'RE TOTAL DICKS.

I REMEMBER THIS, YEAH.

- THE LAKOTA INDRIANSSAW LEWIS AND CLARK,

AND THEY WERE READYTO KILL THEM.

THEY WERE, LIKE...

- WE'RE GONNA [bleep]YOUR [bleep] UP.

- SO THEY WERE, LIKE...- OH, WE MIGHT NEED

TO BE DICKS ABOUT THIS.

- THE CHIEF OF THE LAKOTA TRIBESEES THAT IT'S ABOUT TO BE

A STAB-ON-STAB BRAWLAT THE RIVERBANK,

AND HE SAYS...- EVERYONE CHILL OUT.

CHILL OUT.YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS CAN STAY, AS LONG ASTHE WOMEN AND CHILDREN

COME AND LOOK AT YOU.

- EWW, THAT'S CREEPY.

- THEY WERE ABLE TO STAYWITH THE LAKOTA TRIBE

FOR ALMOST TWO WEEKS.[tribal music]

AND SO EACHOF LEWIS AND CLARK'S MEN

GOT, LIKE, FOUR WIVES.- YEAH, THEY WERE, LIKE...

LATER DAYS,I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT THESE--

- LIKE, HOOKERS.- ALL THE HOOKER WIVES.

- AND SURE ENOUGH,EVERYONE ON THE EXPEDITION,

THEY GOT [bleep]CRAZY STDs.

- CRAZY VD.AND LEWIS...

HE WOULD HAVE TO GIVE THEMA MERCURY TONIC.

- MERCURY ON YOUR GENITALS!COME ON!

- IT'S CRAZY-POISONOUS!

- I DON'T MEAN TO,LIKE, COMPLAIN,

BUT THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.

- THEY'D GONE 1,000 MILES.

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