I know exactly what you'rethinking right now.
You're thinking, thisis my first hour special
and I'm freaking outand I don't deserve it.
And you're thinking you'renot funny enough
and that you're not good-lookingenough for television.
And just-- you need to quietall of those thoughts.
You have every rightto be here.
And it's not just becauseI'm producing it for you
that they let you do it.
And, yeah, you're just averageheight and weight and...
very forgettable-looking,but it's not about that.
It's about comedy.
Tonight's about jokes.
Jokes that aren't good enoughthat you're about to tell.
But I don't want you to thinkabout any of that right now.
Don't let anythingget in the way up here.
'Cause you are betterthan everyone says you are.
Now, you're just gonna go outthere and kill it.
What are you gonna do?
Save your voice.
You're gonna be so good.
I don't regret this.I didn't try to back out.
(cheers and applause)