Sabrina Matthews - Could Be the Drugs

  • Season 4 , Ep 8
  • 01/21/2001
  • Views: 3,318

Using diet pills as speed can sometimes make you eat really, really fast. (1:56)

I'VE BEEN SO SPACY TODAY.

I WAS TALKING TO THIS FRIEND

OF MINE ON THE PHONE, AND I

SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN

FEELING REALLY SPACED OUT."

AND SHE SAID ,"WELL, MERCURY IS

IN RETROGRADE."

"OH, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

IT COULDN'T BE ALL THAT POT

I SMOKED."

YES, THE THINGS YOU DO IN

HIGH SCHOOL WILL AFFECT YOU

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I HAD FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL

THAT USED TO DO SPEED.

ACTUALLY, THEY USED TO TAKE DIET

PILLS--

CHEAP SPEED.

AND THEY TALKED ME INTO TRYING

IT ONE TIME.

THEY'RE LIKE "YOU WON'T WANT TO

EAT ANYTHING."

IT DIDN'T HAVE THAT EFFECT ON ME

AT ALL.

I JUST ATE REALLY FAST.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I SAW THIS GUY ON A

HARLEY DAVIDSON TODAY.

I WAS SITTING BEHIND HIM AT A

STOPLIGHT.

AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE HARLEYS

WHERE THE DRIVER'S SEAT AND

THE PASSENGER'S SEAT ARE

SEPARATE.

I COULD TELL YOU THE NAME OF THE

MODEL IF I WAS JUST A LITTLE BIT

BUTCHER.

(LAUGHTER)

HERE WE HAVE A GROUP OF PEOPLE

WHO CAN RECOGNIZE THE WORD

"BUTCHER" AS AN ADJECTIVE.

(LAUGHTER)

"SHE CUTS HER MEAT WITH A

MOTORCYCLE?"

LET'S MOVE ON.

SO THERE'S THE DRIVER'S SEAT,

AND THEN THE PASSENGER'S SEAT

IS THIS SMALL RECTANGULAR PAD

AFFIXED TO THE REAR FENDER OF

THE MOTORCYCLE AND POPULARLY

REFEREED TO AS A "BITCH" SEAT.

LOVELY.

AND THIS MOTORCYCLE DIDN'T HAVE

A PASSENGER SEAT.

AND THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT

WAS, "WOW.

THAT BIKE DOESN'T HAVE A

BITCH SEAT."

AND THEN I WAS LIKE,

"YOU KNOW WHAT, SABRINA?

DON'T EVEN THINK THAT,

BECAUSE IT IS SO MISOGYNOUS.

AND IF YOU THINK IT,

YOU WILL SAY IT.

AND WHEN YOU SAY IT, YOU'LL BE

SORRY YOU EVER THOUGHT IT."

AND THEN I LOOKED.

THE GUY'S GOT A STICKER ON THE

BACK OF HIS HELMET AND IT SAYS,

"IF YOU CAN READ THIS,

THE BITCH FELL OFF."

(GROANS AND APPLAUSE)

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