Drive-By Shooting School

  • Season 2 , Ep 3
  • 04/05/2006
  • Views: 54,394

Because gangbangers only have one job to do. (3:40)

ON THE NEWS WAY TOO MUCH LATELY,

AND THAT'S INNOCENT PEOPLEGETTING SHOT IN DRIVE-BYS.

NOW YOU GANG-BANGERSONLY HAVE ONE JOB TO DO,

AND THAT IS KILL GANG-BANGERS...

- THAT'S YOUR ONLY JOB.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU DON'T HAVE ANYMORE JOBS.THAT'S ALL YOU GOTTA DO, BATO.

- AND YOU SUCK AT IT.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WANNA STOP ALLTHESE INNOCENT PEOPLEFROM GETTING SHOT.

THAT'S WHY I CREATED THIS.CHECK IT OUT.

YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS HITTINGINNOCENT PEOPLE BUT YOU'RE HERE,

YOU WANNA MAKE A CHANGE,WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU OUT.

YO BRO, WHAT'S UP WITH THATGAY-ASS PINK BANDANNA, HOLMES?

HEY HOLMES,DON'T JUDGE MYLIFESTYLE, ESA.

NO HEY, YOU CAN BANGAND BANG AT THE SAME TIME.I'M COOL WITH THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT BRO,LET ME DO YOU FIRST.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.FORGET IT. YOU GO FIRST.

NAH, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE RULES:YOU CAN SHOOT THE GANG-BANGERS,

YOU CANNOT SHOOT THE DOG,THE LITTLE GIRL OR THE OLD LADY.

ARE WE COOL? SIMON.

SHOOT.[GUNFIRE]

[LAUGHING]YOU THINK YOU DID GOOD?

SIMON ESA.

DAMN, HOLMES.YOU SHOT GRANDMA IN THE FACE,

THE TITTIESAND THE PANOOCH.

NOW TRY IT AGAIN.AH, HA-HA-HA-HA.

WHEW!

YEAH!YEE-HEE-HEE!

HEY, IT'S, IT'S BRIGHTOUT HERE, ESA.

EGHT! BEANERS.

WHOA. LET ME AX YOUA QUESTION, MY BROTHER.WHY YOU SHOOTIN' LIKE THAT?

'CAUSE I LOOK COOLWHEN I SHOOT.

YEAH? WELL, YOU LOOK RETARDEDWHEN YOU MISS.

YOU SHOOT LIKE THAT.

OH SNAP, IT LINES UP AND EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TURN OFFTHE HYDRAULIC, YOU DICKHEAD!

IT'S A LITTLE PUMP ITDOWNTOWN DOG BRIGADE, ESA!

DON'T WARN 'EM.SHH! LET ME HAVE THE GUN.

AH.AH.

[MUFFLED SPEECH]

NOW TALK IT.WHAT'S UP NOW, ESA? HUH? HUH?

WHO KILLED THE CARDBOARD?WE KILLED THE CARDBOARD?

YOU KILLED THE CARDBOARD.YOU KILLED THE CARDBOARD.

YOU DID!YOU TOOK 'EM DOWN, BABY!

CONGRATULATIONS,YOU HAVE JUST GRADUATED

THE CARLOS MENCIADRIVE-BY SHOOTING SCHOOL.

[CHEERING, GUNFIRE]

- I TOLD YOU. I HAD IT.- [SOUND OF BULLETS DESCENDING]

AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!

LAST LESSON...

- [BICYCLE BELL JINGLING]- PALETAS!

OH, HEY CARLOS. [SIREN IN DISTANCE]

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