Paul Provenza - Warnings

Kevin Meaney & Paul Provenza Season 1, Ep 0132 02/24/1992 Views: 387

Nobody pays attention to warnings. (1:33)

REALLY-- THAT'SWHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO.

NOBODY PAYS ATTENTIONTO WARNINGS.

WE NEE CIGARETTE WARNINGS.

NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION TO IT.

THERE'S FIVE OR SIXDIFFERENT WARNINGS

GO ON DIFFERENT PACKAGES.

I DON'T THINK THEY KNOW

WHAT PHOTOGRAPH WILL END UPWITH WHAT WARNING

BECAUSE THEY'D PLANMORE CAREFULLY.

I SAW ONE I COULDN'T BELIEVE.

THESE TWO WOMEN SITTINGON A PORCH SWING

PETTING A LITTLE PUPPY,DRINKING ICE TEAS

WATCHING THE SAILBOATS GO BY,REAL PASTORAL SETTING

AND IN THE CORNER,IT SAID, "WARNING:

SMOKING CAUSES FETAL INJURYAND PREMATURE BIRTH DEFECTS."

I THOUGHT,"HEY, THAT'S NOT A PUPPY."

YOU SEE, NOW, THAT...

( laughter )

THAT ISA VERY EFFECTIVE WARNING.

BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE...

THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO WANT TO MAKECIGARETTE SMOKING ILLEGAL.

I HATE SMOKINGMORE THAN THE NEXT GUY

BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU CANNOT LEGISLATEINTELLIGENCE.

YOU CAN'T MAKEPEOPLE STOP SMOKING.

WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKEPEOPLE WANT TO STOP SMOKING.

LET'S USE OUR HEADS.

THERE'S A WHOLE FREUDIAN,ORAL-FIXATION THING

INVOLVED WITH CIGARSAND CIGARETTES.

WE DON'T NEEDTO MAKE THEM ILLEGAL.

LET'S JUST MAKE THEM PINK.

( laughter )

OH, OH, MOST GUYS WOULD STOPSMOKING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW

AND VERY FEW WOMEN WOULD INHALE.

YOU SEE HOW THAT WORKS?