Dana Gould - Reasoning with Children

Gould, Evans, Brillon, Katz, Varghese, Malik S., Kaler Season 2, Ep 2 07/12/2007 Views: 3,853

The minute that you think your kids have reason, they're the worst people in the world. (1:52)

And it's harder with childrenbecause...

the only thing I have isreason, you know?

You can't go to reasonwith a kid.

My daughter will be sayingshe's hungry, and I'll be like,

"Buddy, you're not hungry.You're just bored.

"Do you understand?

"And you're already starting offa pattern

"of satisfyingan internal disconnect

"with an external stimulation,

"and that's a dead-end road,sweetie.

"Courtney Love liveson that road.

"You don't wantto live on that road.

"Do you understandwhat I'm saying?

Or are you going to hidebehind being four all year?"

Because the minute you thinkthat they have reason,

they are the worst peoplein the world.

My daughter will come--"Daddy, I want a cheese stick."

"All right, sweetie,tell you what.

"Let's not havea cheese stick now

"because we're goingto bed in an hour

"and we always havea cup of milk at bedtime.

Let's wait an hourand then we'll have our milk."

"Daddy, I want a cheese stick."

"I know, honey, but let's wait.It'll be better.

Let's have milk in an hour."

"Daddy, I want a..."

45 minutes.

"Daddy, I want a cheese stick.""No."

"Daddy, I want..."Finally, after 45 minutes,

I'm like, "Okay, you win, okay,

"but let's do this.

"If we have cheese sticks now,

"we're going to bedin 15 minutes,

so let's not have milkat bedtime, okay?"


"So we'll haveour cheese stick now

and then in 15 minuteswe won't have milk."

"All right."

"And you're good?""I'm good."

She eats her cheese stick.

"Daddy, I want milk."

"You (bleep), you (bleep),you knew you wanted milk!

"You always plannedon asking me for milk!

"You just played melike I'm some kind of (bleep).

"You think I suckbecause I don't go off to work

"in the morninglike the other dads.

"My job is precious!

"The world needs clowns,you know!

"You think I'm a loser

"because Mommy makes more moneythan I do?

My (bleep) is as bigas anybody's, Jack."

But you can't go

to that place with a kid.