Hello!

Greenwich Village!

How are you?

I'm dressed up tonight.

(whooping and cheering)

This is the first time,I think, in like a year

I have taken off a sports bra.

I'm not even making that up.

Nothing says "I'm donewith life,"

like a grown woman--I'm 46 years old.

A 46-year-old woman in a sportsbra who's never done sports...

Just one low, angry, defiantfucking breast

just daring youto fuck with it.

This is how much.

People have started asking meif I'm from Michigan.

I'm like, "No, I've just startedgiving up. It looks the same."

Same fucking look.

You don't believe me?!

Look at this, I'm pretty surethis is a bathrobe.

And this, this thing I'mwearing-- Do you see it?

This is an actual skirt.

I decided to make a shirt.

Look at the young girls lookingat me, like,

"Did you get that atForever 21."

No, cunt, I didn't.

No, my closet knowsnot to fuck with me.

This is a skirt.

I went to put it on and it was--"I'm a size six."

Really? Fuck you, skirt.

You're a shirt now.

You're going out in public.

You don't wanna come out?!

I own you, skirt!

You don't own me.

My little white room.

I'm Christmas Future, baby.

I used to look just like you.

This is what ends up happening.

Think about that when you'remaking choices.