Maria Bamford - Botox

  • Season 2, Ep 2
  • 03/31/2011
  • Views: 41,521

Maria Bamford's manager suggested she get Botox, but she's kinda still using her face. (2:26)

YOU KNOW, MY MANAGER...UM... HE ASKED ME...

MY MANAGER WAS SAYING

THAT IT MIGHT BE TIMEFOR ME TO GET BOTOX,

AND I SAID,OH, I DON'T KNOW...

(laughter)

I'M KINDA STILL USINGMY FACE.

THERE'S SO MUCHLEFT TO EXPLORE.

(laughter)

RR...AGH.

(chuckles)I-I--

IS THIS NO LONGER RELEVANT?

(laughter and applause)

FOOD IS SO FANCY NOW.

ALL THE RESTAURANTS YOU GO IN,AND THEY HAVE TO TELL YOU

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPENTO THE FOOD.

"OH, WE'RE GONNA TERRIFYTHE BEEF.

"THEN WE'RE GONNA SHOVE IT UPNEXT TO SOME CARROTS

"THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT'S UP.

THEY'RE GONNA TRY TO ESCAPE,

BUT THERE'S A TSUNAMI OF BOOZEJUICE COMING AT THEM."

IT'S LIKE,I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THAT.

ALL I NEED TO KNOW IS DOESTHAT SHAPE FIT IN HERE?

(laughter)

HOW DO I GET THAT LITTLEGENTLEMAN

INTO THE MUNCHING CAVE?

(laughter)

(grunting)

THAT'S DISGUSTING.

(laughter)

MY FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS TRYINGTO CONVINCE ME HOW EASY IT IS

TO COOK BUT NOT ANY EASIERTHAN NOT COOKING.

(laughter and applause)

"MARIA, NO, JUST GET LIKEA REALLY GOOD VIRGIN OLIVE OIL."

(grunts)

GIRLS SCOUT COOKIES,PIECE OF HAM.

(laughter)EH?

"NO, JUST CUT UP JUST LIKEA COUPLE OF VEGETABLES."

(shudders)SQUEEZY CHEESE ON FINGER.

CAN OF WINE.

(laughter)

AH!

"JUST PREHEAT THE--"AAGGH!

HOT POWER BARFROM GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

(laughter)MM. MM.

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