Rocky LaPorte - Fancy Mall

  • Season 9 , Ep 18
  • 06/09/2005
  • Views: 11,895

Why do the makeup counter girls at the fancy mall wear lab coats? (1:44)

ASK SOMEONE IF THEY KNOW SOMEONE

AND THEN THEY TELL YOU A

DIFFERENT NAME?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE?

THAT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME.

I GO HEY, "YOU KNOW

MIKE ANDERSON?"

HE GOES, "I KNOW A

FLIP GUNDERSON."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

DID YOU HEAR ME SAY

FLIP GUNDERSON?

SOMETIMES THEY DON'T EVEN

THE RIGHT SEX.

I GO, "YOU KNOW MIKE SMITH?"

HE GOES, "UH, I KNOW A

DENISE SMITH."

I GO, "YEAH, THAT'S THE GUY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT DO YOU HAVE A PLATE

IN YOUR HEAD?

WHAT THE HELL'S A MATTER WITH

YOU?

HERE'S THE BEST, YOU EVER

DATIN' SOMEBODY LIKE A COUPLE

OF WEEKS AND YOU'RE NOT SURE

HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT 'EM YET

AND THEN THEY TELL YA THAT THEY

LOVE YA?

AND YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY...

GOOD FOR YOU."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THAT'S...

YEAH.

YOU EVER AH, YOU EVER GO INTO

ONE OF THOSE FANCY MALLS?

YOU EVER SEE THE GIRLS WORKING

BEHIND THE COSMETIC COUNTERS?

THEY GOT LAB COATS ON.

WHAT ARE THE DOIN',

SPLITTING ATOMS BACK THERE?

[LAUGHTER]

YOU EVER SEE THAT?

I WENT IN THERE TO BUY COLOGNE,

THEY DREW BLOOD AND THEY TOLD

ME I HAD A YEAST INFECTION, ME.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU LAUGH, I HAVE TO GO

BACK TOMORROW FOR A PAP SMEAR.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I DON'T...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT

MEANS.

I AH...

[LAUGHS]

A PAP.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PAP, DO I?

[LAUGHTER]

GUYS DON'T HAVE THEM RIGHT?

NO.

GOOD, THEY CAN'T SMEAR IT.

ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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