I buy the majority of myclothing at thrift stores.
I'm sure you're shocked.
You're shocked, right?I know.
Some people think it's gross.
They're, like, "You don't knowwhere those clothes have been.
They might be dirty."
But I personally am willingto risk catching crabs
from my pants in exchangefor substantial discounts.
It just makes sense.
However, there is one thing
that I run across at the thriftstores pretty frequently,
that totally creeps me out.
And that is the shirtdoesn't stop at the waist.
It keeps going downunder the crotch
and then it snaps.
Um, I just don't knowwhy these were ever invented.
Like, was a tight tuckever that important?
Was some lady, like,"Hey, guys, over here!
"Oh, God, no!
"Oh, God, snap it down!Snap it down.
"You're not going nowhere,shirt.
You're gonna stay right herein my pants where I put you."
I feel like you might as wellwear stirrup pants also.
Batten down all the hatches.
It's the tightest outfit ever.
And then put on overalls
and go out drinkingwith your friends.
Then when you have to goto the bathroom,
you're, like, "I don't even knowwhere to begin."
All right, that's it for me.Thank you.
(cheering and applause)