I just bought my girlfriendlingerie for a lingerie date
and, uh, I wentto a lingerie store
to buy the lingerie and realized
I am not mature enoughto be in one of those places.
It was giggles for days.
Just chuckling, couldn't evenlook the girl in the eye.
She's like,"What are you looking for?"
"You know what I'm looking for."
She showed me a pieceof lingerie that cost $600.
I'd have better luckin the bedroom
if I just gavemy girlfriend $600.
I'm not sayingshe's a prostitute.
I'm not a prostitute either.But if you gave me 600 bucks,
I'd do a lot of thingsI wouldn't normally do.
We go to the bedroom,you start peeling off six bills.
"How do you feel?"
I feel real open-minded."
She tried to give methe hard sale.
She said,"This is a great piece.
"She can wear it in the bedroom,
"she can wear it aroundthe house, she can cook in it."
That's gonna cost way morethan $600 at my house.
She's not gonna cook in it.She doesn't cook in jeans.
You think the reasonmy girlfriend doesn't cook
is 'cause her butthole'snot hanging out?
That's what's been holdingher back this whole time?
Plus, I don't want her cookingin sexy lingerie.
I don't want my girlfriendto cook in sexy lingerie.
I get all hot and horny,then the food's done--
I have to make a decision.
She turns around,
"What do you want, big boy?""I'm not sure right now.
If I pick that one,the other one will dry out."