Greg Fitzsimmons - Living in New York

  • Season 1 , Ep 5
  • 12/28/1998
  • Views: 3,201

Odd things can happen at the coffee shop. (1:19)

Man:YEAH.

YEAH, NEW YORK IS A FUNNY PLACE.

I WAS AT THE COFFEE SHOPLAST WEEK

AND I'M PAY THE CASHIERFOR MY CUP OF COFFEE

AND THE OTHER GIRL GOT SPRAYED

BY THE ESPRESSO MACHINEWITH THE HOT MILK

AND HER SHIRT WAS BURNING HER

AND SO SHE JUST RIPPED IT OFF

BUT SHE FORGOTSHE HAD NO BRA ON

AND SO SHE JUST RAN IN THE BACKAND THE CASHIER LOOKS AT ME

HE GOES, "THAT'LL BEAN EXTRA TWO BUCKS."

( laughter )

I JUST WALK AROUND NEW YORKALL DAY

GOING, "IT'S TOO CROWDED.

"THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE.

I NEED SOME SPACE."

SO I WENT TO OKLAHOMA.

I'M LIKE, "WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

"WE NEED SOME PEOPLE.

WHAT'S UP COW?"

EVERYBODY'S GOT A COW,YOU GO TO OKLAHOMA.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.EVERYBODY OWNS A COW.

YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY MILKIN OKLAHOMA.

THEY HAVE TO TATTOOMISSING KIDS' FACES

RIGHT ON THE COW'S ASS.

THAT'S...

I GET OFFSTAGE,THIS KID COMES UP TO ME

HE GOES, "HEY, MAN,YOU WANT TO GO SEE A COW?"

I GO, "SURE. I'M FROM NEW YORK.

NEVER SEEN A COW."

"YOU NEVER SEEN A COW?!"

I GO, "NO,I'VE NEVER SEEN A COW.

"HAVE YOU EVER SEENA CRACK ADDICT

"GET ON THE ELEVATOR?

WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT,THAT'S ALL."

( laughter )

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