Chris Gethard - Bonnaroo Drug Confessions Pt. 4

Chris Gethard Season 3, Ep 5 06/20/2014 Views: 9,047

While on drugs, Chris Gethard comes to a crushing realization about his relationship. (2:16)

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The worst my behavior got was Itook a bag of white powder

and I walked up to a guy whoseshirt said "security" on it.

And I went, "Hey."And he went, "What?"

And I went...(blabbering)

And then I ran away.

And at that point,

at that point, my friend Mattgrabbed me, he's like,

"Dude, you need to chill out."

And what you should knowis my friend Matt

is a recovering heroin addict.

This means thatwithin a few hours,

I went from being completelystraight edge for a half decade

to having a heroin addicttell me to chill.

And I said to him, "You'reright, I'm out of control.

I'll just use the bathroomand calm down."

And that's when I went

and ate half a gram of Mollyby myself

in a Porta Potti.

There's a sentence I wishwasn't on the résumé.

Once ate half a gramof Molly by himself

in a Porta Potti.

All told, I stayed up

for 36 hours

doing Molly. I went onthis really big bender.

And in the middle of it,one of my friends turns to me

and he goes, "Hey, man,

"that girl you're alwayshanging around with,

you think you guys areever gonna get together?"

And I said, "Oh, actually

"that's my girlfriend.

"And we've been datingfor eight years.

"And the reasonyou don't know that

"is we're not affectionatewith each other at all.

"And the reason for thatis at the end of the day

"what we are is best friends.

"And I think we both havethis romantic notion

"that it would be wonderfulto marry your best friend.

"And I bet it would bewonderful, but you don't have

"to marry your best friend.

"And we're not goingto marry each other.

"And I think we're bothjust a little too scared

and a little too sadto admit that and move on."

And then I paused,and I looked at him and said,


I can't unsay that."

So I went back to New York City,

I broke up with a girl whoI'd been dating for eight years.

I had a roommate I livedwith for almost ten years?

Just moved out one day.

Just left. My whole foundationwas just gone.

It was out the door.I started staying up all night.

I started partyingall over New York City.

I started sleepingwith tons of girls.

Trust me, I don't gethow I pulled it off either.

I guess lookinglike a member of Weezer

goes further in New Yorkthan any of us knew.