How are you?(cheering)
You look good, too.
You look like homeowners.
We're trying to buyour first house in L.A.,
and, uh, it's...it's crazy, man.
Everyone's puttinga good spin on it.
You know, they're like, "Youknow, it's a great time to buy
with all those foreclosures."
What kind of logic is that,you know?
"No one else can maketheir payments, but hey,
why don't you give it a crack?""All right."
Is that the American dream--
waiting for someone else to failand swoop on in?
That is cold, man.
"Sorry you couldn't makeyour payments.
Mind if we look around?"
You know, when I was kid,I always thought, you know,
someday I'm gonna owna million-dollar home.
I just never dreamed
it'd be, like, a two-bedroom,one-bath fixer-upper.
We're outgrowing our place, man.
My, my son is 12 years old now,and already
people are putting pressureon me, you know.
They're like, "Are you saving upfor his college yet?"
I haven't even paidfor my college, man.
Are you kidding?I owe 25 grand in student loans.
I'm gonna have to walk him upthrough the financial aid line
to the people I still know.
"Yeah, I got a tab going, right?
Yeah-- no, it turns outI am alive."
I'm a fun dad, you know.
My wife tells me I'm too fun.
What does that mean?
She says I need to be stricter,
that kids need to learnthat no means no.
And I'm like, you know,
"What if I'm raising themto be salespeople?"
They're never goingto make their quota
with that kind of attitude,you know.
"You've got to get back inthere, mister, earn your bonus.
"You know,of course your mom says no.
"That's her job.
"Shoot, if I got discouraged thefirst time your mom told me no,
you wouldn't even be hereright now, okay?"
It's hard to knowhow much discipline, you know,
with the right approach, like wedon't, we don't spank our kids.
We discussed itwhen they were born.
I thought we should spank andmy wife thought we shouldn't,
so we don't 'cause that'show things work in our house.
I get a vote,but she gets the tiebreaker.
It's fair;she explained it once.
I'm married; you got to dowhat you can, you know.
You guys know, right,married guys over here?
I can always spot a brother.
How you doing?
That's cool, man.
You got to keep it fresh,you know, keep it interesting.
We tried, uh, we triedhaving sex standing up.
You guys tried that?
That was cool, yeah.
I was nervous at first.
I kept thinking she was goingto drop me, you know.
Some of you actually doingthe math on that.
"Is that even possible?"
No, I don't thinkit's how long you're married.
I think it's how happy you are,you know,
'cause our next-door neighbors--they've been married 53 years,
but you can tellthey've been pissed for 52.
They have that attitude--"Well, I said forever.
A deal's a deal."
"You guys should split up."
"Oh, I wouldn't give herthe satisfaction.
"I think I can outlast her.
State Farm pays the winner."
That's funny'cause some of you are laughing
and some of you are like,"Man, you just blew my plan.