Ari Shaffir - The Problem with Camping

Ari Shaffir: Paid Regular Season 1, Ep 1 01/16/2015 Views: 92

Although Ari Shaffir likes to go camping, he wishes a few things about the experience were different and explains what you should never do while alone in the woods. (1:58)

Watch Full Episode

It's funny shit.I just got into it

the last few years.It's so much fun.

The only problemwith camping

is they never reallytell you the real experience.

Like, in the movies and stuff,it's never, like--

The movies they always tell you,like, it's gonna be you

all alone in nature.Won't that be great?

Just you all alonein the woods.

You're like,"That would be great."

It's never that.

It's you in a tent.

And you're nine feet awayfrom another tent.

And I don't know aboutyou guys, but that close

next to a single father tryingto reconnect with his son...

It's not the best place to domushrooms right over here.

Makes it very uncomfortable.

I'm assuming that's howeverybody goes camping, right?

Are we all--are we allon the same page?

There's no other reasonto be out there

if you're not on mushrooms.

It's just dirty otherwise.Don't go there.

It's so, so dirty.

Stay inside where there'sless dirt.

But I guess if you'reon mushrooms,

the dirt goes awayor something.

I don't knowthe science exactly,

but, uh, I was on 'em once,I was with my friends.

We were campingon mushrooms,

and I wandered awayfrom my group for a while,

'cause this deer came,and he looked at me weird.

It was like he hadan attitude about it.

You could tell he thoughthe was better than us.

So I was like, "Whatever, deer,fine. You take it,"

and I left.And as I walked away,

I came across this forkin the path,

it went twodifferent directions.

On the left-hand sidewas this really wide path.

On the right-hand sideis this really narrow path.

And I was like, "Huh," and Icouldn't decide which way to go.

And while I was deciding,all of a sudden out of nowhere

I just--I remembered that--that Robert Frost poem

from high school.

You guys remember that?Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the roadless traveled.

And I'm like,"Dude, I'm in a wood right now.

"And there's two roads.I'm doing this shit.

It's been 20 years,time to do it."

And so I saw the narrow path,the road less traveled.

And so I went that way.And it turns out,

it's horrible advice.