Mitch Fatel - Porno Spam

  • Season 11 , Ep 19
  • 04/05/2007
  • Views: 28,547

Porno spam is like having your mind read. (3:08)

I DON'T MIND BEING SINGLE THOUGH,

'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU GET TO WATCH THE PORNO.

OH, MY GOD. I LOVE THE PORNO.

I NEVER LIKED PORNO. AND THEN I GOT THE INTERNET.

OH, MAN. YOU CANNOT GET INTO A PORNO

IF YOU HAVE THE INTERNET. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU CAN DO A SEARCH FOR MUFFINS AND IT COMES UP,

"HOT GIRLS MASTURBATING WITH MUFFINS."

AND IT'S TOUGH IF YOU'RE A GUY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE LIKE,

"I THINK I WANNA SEE THAT.

I THINK WOULD ENJOY GIRLS MASTURBATING WITH MUFFINS

AND OTHER ASSORTED BAKED GOODS."

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THEN YOU STARTGETTING THAT PORNO SPAM.

THAT PORNO SPAM IS BAD STUFF, BOY,

'CAUSE I WANNA DELETE ITBUT IT'S ALMOST LIKE

THEY HAVE A CHIP IN MY HEAD OR SOMETHING,

'CAUSE I GET THESE E-MAILS. THEY'RE LIKE, "DO YOU LIKE

HOT, YOUNG GIRLS IN THIGH-HIGH STOCKINGS?"

- "YEAH." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"DO YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD?" "I SURE DO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"DO YOU WANNA ADD THREE INCHESONTO YOUR PENIS?"

- "WHO'S BEEN READING MY DIARY?"- [LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THAT PORNO SPAM PEOPLEARE GOOD.

- [LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]-YOU HAVE TO STOP, STOP.

I SAW A GAY PORNO MOVIE ONCE,AND IT FREAKED ME OUT,

'CAUSE THAT GUY WAS IN IT AND I DIDN'T EXPECT TO HIM--

SAME SHIRT AND EVERYTHING. I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT SHIRT.

I'M ONLY JOKING, DUDE.YOU HAD THAT SHIRT OFF.

HE WAS OILED UP. I HAD NEVER SEEN A GAY PORNO MOVIE BEFORE.

SO, IT WAS REALLY WEIRD TO SEE.

BECAUSE IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A REGULAR PORNO MOVIE,

EXCEPT IT'S JUST TWO GUYS DOING IT.

IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE THE GIRL WAS LATE

AND THE DIRECTOR WAS LIKE--

"LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO START WITHOUT HER, BOYS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IF I WAS ON THAT SET, I WOULD BE LIKE,

"COULDN'T WE JUST WAITLIKE FIVE MORE MINUTES?

- THINK I HEAR HER CAR." - [LAUGHTER]

I WOULD BE GAY IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THE GAY SEX PART.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD LIKE THAT.

I THINK AFTER A COUPLE MINUTES, I'LL JUST BE LIKE,

"OW, QUIT IT.LET'S JUST CUDDLE, DUDE.

LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

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