Otis Lee Crenshaw - Love and Money

  • Season 7 , Ep 11
  • 04/17/2003
  • Views: 9,460

When the Salvation Army comes to your house and surrenders, you're poor. (4:07)

AW, WE COULDN'T AFFORD PACKAGING

WHERE I GREW UP.

'CAUSE WE WERE POOR.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY.

I'M JUST SAYING WE COULDN'T

AFFORD PACKAGING.

I'D HAVE TO MAKE MY CHRISTMAS

GIFTS.

BUT WE HAD NO PACKAGING.

SO I'D HAVE TO WRAP IT IN LIKE

PAPER AND HANDMADE GIFTS.

MAKE 'EM EVERY YEAR.

WORK ON 'EM FOR MONTHS.

PUT 'EM UNDER THE TREE.

MY MAMA WOULD GO, "OTIS,

OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OH, WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T WAIT--

WHAT IS IT?"

"THAT WAS THE LAST-SUPPER

ON ETCH A SKETCH, MAMA."

(LAUGHTER)

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE WERE POOR,

PEOPLE.

I MEAN BLUES SINGERS WOULD

SHOW UP AT OUR HOUSE WHEN

THEY HAD WRITER'S BLOCK.

THAT'S HOW POOR WE WERE.

SALVATION ARMY WOULD SHOW UP

AND SURRENDER, PACKAGE BOY.

WE WERE POOR.

YEAH.

ARE YOU A COUNTRY MUSIC FAN?

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, I DON'T BLAME YOU.

BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS (BLEEP)

AND YOU KNOW IT.

ALL THAT CRAP THAT YOU'VE BEEN

FORCED TO LISTEN TO.

THAT TOP 40 NASHVILLE SACCHARINE

DIABETES INDUCING PANCAKE SYRUPY

BULL (BLEEP) THAT THEY CRANK

OUT.

GARTH BROOKS CAN KISS MY ASS,

AND I DON'T MIND SAYING SO.

AND IT AIN'T REAL COUNTRY.

REAL COUNTRY MUSIC, AS I'M SURE

YOU KNOW, IS LYING ON THE FLOOR

WITH THAT BOTTLE OF

JACK DANIEL'S BY YOUR SIDE

'CAUSE A WOMAN'S GONNA WALK

ACROSS YOUR HEART LIKE A

SAMOAN MAN IN GOLF SHOES.

AND YOU THINK, DAMN, THERE OUGHT

TO BE A WAY TO TAKE ALL THIS

HEARTACHE AND DEPRESSION AND

TURN IT INTO SOME INSTANT CASH.

AND YOU GO DOWN THERE IN

NASHVILLE AND PLAY YOUR SONGS

FOR 'EM AND THEY DON'T WANNA

RECORD 'EM AND THEN YOU HAVE

PROBLEMS WITH THE PACKAGING.

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S MADE A

BONE HEADED DECISION BACK IN

MANHATTAN.

AND I HOPE YOU PEOPLE NEVER

HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT.

AND I DON'T CARE IF THESE SONGS

NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF RECORDING

DAY.

AT LEAST THEY'RE HONEST.

♪ WE GO OUT WALKING

♪ JUST US TWO

♪ AIN'T MUCH IN THIS WORLD

♪ I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU

♪ AND EVERY MAN WITH A KNIFE

♪ SAYS YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

♪ I WOULDN'T THINK TWICE

♪ I'D STAND MY GROUND

♪ AND I'D GIVE AN INCH

♪ COILED LIKE A SPRING

♪ I WOULDN'T EVEN FLINCH

♪ AND I WOULD

♪ STARE INTO THE EYES

♪ OF THAT SON OF A BITCH

♪ AND THIS IS WHAT I'D SAY

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ I MIGHT BE CRAZY

♪ BUT I AIN'T RECKLESS

♪ SHE'S GOT A DIAMOND RING

♪ SHE'S GOT A NECKLACE

♪ LOOK IN HER PURSE

♪ SHE'S GOT KEYS TO A LEXUS

♪ ME, I'LL BE ON MY WAY

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ IT'S A FUNNY OLD WAY

♪ TO MEASURE LOVE

♪ FIND OUT WHERE YOU STAND

♪ WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

♪ 'CAUSE RIGHT NOW

♪ IT AIN'T YOU

♪ THAT I'M THINKING OF

♪ IT'S ME

♪ IT'S ME

♪ IT'S ME, ME, ME, ME

♪ I LOVE ME

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

♪ TWO'S COMPANY

♪ BUT THREE'S A CROWD

♪ I WAS THINKING MAYBE

♪ WE SHOULD BREAK UP ANY HOW

♪ I COULD USE

♪ SOME SPACE FROM YOU

♪ ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW

♪ SO HELP YOURSELF, MISTER

♪ I AIN'T NO HERO

♪ HER BANK CARD PIN NUMBER

♪ IS 4-1-3-0

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME

SING, PACKAGE BOY!

♪ DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

♪ TO THE GIRL--

SING!

♪ JUST DON'T HURT ME ♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S GOT HIT WRITTEN ALL OVER

IT!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH

NASHVILLE?

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