Pretty Little Cry

Season 1 , Ep 4 07/25/10 Views: 8,221

Ray Lipowski presents the easiest way for an attractive female to make $30,000. (1:56)

TRUE, FALSE, TAKE THISHOW YOU WANNA TAKE IT.

FICTION, NON-FICTION,TOTALLY IRRELEVANT.

AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALECAN CALL UP TEN MEN.

SHE'S NOT SLEEPINGWITH NONE OF THE TEN.

CALL THEM UPWITH HER PRETTY LITTLE CRY.

[whimpering cry]

ALL TEN DUDES WILLANSWER THE PHONE

AND SAY,"WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

[sniffles]"SOMEBODY BROKE

"INTO MY APARTMENTAND STOLE ALL MY MONEY.

"LANDLORD SAID IF I DON'TPAY THE RENT TODAY BY 5:00,

I'M GONNA GET EVICTED."

"BABY, IT'S OKAY, STOP CRYING.HOW MUCH IS YOUR RENT?"

[sniffles]"$3,000."

"YOU LIVE IN COMPTON!"

"I KNOW,IT'S A NEW BUILDING."

"IT'S OKAY, STOP CRYING.HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE?"

[sniffles]"NOTHING, THEY TOOK IT ALL."

"IT'S OKAY,WHO DO YOU BANK WITH?"

ALL TEN OF THESE DUDESWILL GET YOU THAT 3,000

BECAUSE THEYWANNA SLEEP WITH YOU.

YOU CAME UP WITH APOSSIBLE $30,000 OFF SOME B.S.

LOOK AT THE PRETTYFEMALES IN HERE.

"THIS IS A GOOD ASS IDEA.

CALL UP, CRY PRETTY,ASK FOR 3,000."

LET AN UGLY FEMALETRY THE SAME MOVE,

AND SHE'S SLEEPINGWITH SIX OF THE TEN.

SHE'LL CALL THEM UP CRYING,

"WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

'CAUSE YOU KNOW UGLY PEOPLECRY WAY DIFFERENT.

"WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

YOU ANSWER THE PHONE LIKE,"WHO THE HELL IS THIS?"

SHE SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU.

"IT'S ME.QUIT PLAYIN', RAY.

"YOU KNOW IT'S ME,YOU KNOW MY NUMBER.

WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

"WHY YOU CRYIN' LIKE THAT?"

"'CAUSE I'MREALLY UPSET RIGHT NOW."

"WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

"SOMEBODY BROKE INTO MY PLACEAND STOLE ALL MY CASH.

"LANDLORD SAID IF I DON'TPAY THE RENT BY 5:00,

I'M GONNA GET EVICTED.WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

"STOP CRYING LIKE THATOR I'M GONNA HANG UP."

"WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO DO, RAY?"

"HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP ANDLISTEN, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO."

"ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENING.GO AHEAD, I'M ALL EARS."

"HOW MUCH IS YOUR RENT?"

"400 BUCKS."

"HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE?"

"350."

"DAMN, THAT'S MESSED UP,WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?"

[laughter]

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