- I love basketball.I love it,
but I know I'm not the personwho's the happiest
that basketball exists.
I think the personwho's the happiest
that basketball exists
is Shaquille O'Neal.
It's gotta be Shaq, right?
Because without basketball
Shaq is just a manwho's too big for this world.
He's, like, 7'3" and 400 pounds,right?
Like, without basketball,he would have just been,
like, breaking tea cupsin his hands,
and having his feet hang overhis comically tiny bed.
They would have made himgo live in the hills,
like, at the age of 14.
They would have.They'd have been like,
"Get out of here, Shaq.You're a danger to everyone."
The only--old menwould believe in him.
They'd be like, "He's real."[laughter]
"He was 80 feet talland a talented break-dancer."