Thank you for calling...

WOMAN:Hello.

My little girl was in therefor a birthday party.

Uh-huh.

I'm just disgusted.

I can't believe...

I mean, it's a kids' partyand she walked in the door

with the biggest ceramic( bleep ) I have ever seen.

With a what?

A ceramic ( bleep ), a dildo.

You know, a ( bleep ),( bleep ),

( bleep ), a big ( bleep ).

Okay, I'm afraidshe didn't get it from here.

Yes, she did.

You know how that looks?

I'm on the PTA.

That's terrific.

I'm a mentor.

I would never putsomething like that in there.

Well, what didthe other kids make?

The other kids made thingslike puppies and cups

and things like that.

Well, do the puppies have( bleep ) on them?

No, they don't.

Maybe she just broke the( bleep ) off the puppy

and just went with that.

If you're on the PTA, I...

do not agree withyour language, ma'am.

What I say?

Using terms like ( bleep )and things like this.

Try to tell me it wasa dragon.

Okay.

Yeah, a one-eyed, veined,( bleep P dragon,

that's what it was.

Ma'am, ma'am, you're goingto have to tone down.

Because I'm not goingto take this seriously

if I don't see it.

I'm sorry. I don't meanto yell at you.

You do, too.

You came off just likeyou were... like I'm wrong.

Like we put some lewd thingin her bag,

which is ludicrous.

Well, maybe you shouldcheck your employees,

because one of those pervertshad those kids painting...

You know what, ma'am?

there are three employees--

there's a 72-year-old ladythat works here,

there's a 45-year-old womanthat works here

and if you're callingany of us lewd or re...

you know, anything like that,I take offense to it.

You know what?

You check granny's purse.

I bet yougranny's got a bag full

of ceramic ( bleep ) in there.

Would you like to talk to her?

She's right here. Hold on.

Hello.

Are you in therewith the kids

painting ceramic ( bleep )?

No, no.

I'm just an employee here.

My little girl came homefrom a birthday party there,

and she walked in here

with the biggest ceramic dildoI have ever seen.

Oh.

Okay, so whose birthdayparty was this?

I don't knowthat little girl's name.

Have you called the parent yet

and told them they stucka dildo in the bag?

No, not yet.

So you call them firstbefore you call me

and start yelling at meabout this kind of stuff.

You call the parent first.

All right, letme ask you this...

Don't ask me anything.

You call the parentand you see what happened...

No, this is important.This is important.

It's not important to me.Yes, it is.

Okay.

If that stuff gets in you,is it poisonous?

No.

Oh, whew, good.

This stuff is all kid-safe.

This is a place for kidsrun by people that love kids,

and for you to call me uplike this

and verbally abuse me, is...

I'm not verbally abusing you.

You are verbally abusing me

and a 72-year-old ladyfor gosh sakes.

This is terrible.

You call that mother's parents,

and if you don't have the witsto call that mother's parents,

then don't call me backagain.

You understand that?

Somebody stuck a dildoin my girl's bag.

Okay, I'm sorry.

You know, it comes to usfrom the parent.

The parent picks it up.

We certainly don't have thattype of device

laying around to stick in bags.

So... especially... especiallya 72-year-old woman.

Well...

That's disgusting.

I'm appalled that you wouldsay anything like that.

Well, I know what,I'm going to call...

You don't know anything.

I'm going to callthat little girl's parents...

You do that.

And I'm going to thank them

for the best orgasmI have ever had.

That's terrific.I don't need to hear about that.

Whoo!