Judy Gold - Reading Faces

  • Season 3, Ep 15
  • 09/14/2000
  • Views: 2,487

Jews can tell when strangers are Jewish. (3:00)

IT'S A JEWISH THING.

ARE THERE ANYJEWISH PEOPLE HERE?

[scattered applause]

THEY'RE SCATTERED AROUND--JEWISH, SURE.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

(man) JEFF.

HEY, JEFF,WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'M A STUDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING?

BUSINESS.

BUSINESS? THAT'S A SHOCK.

AND WHERE DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

BABSON.

BABSON? WHERE'S BABSON?

BOSTON.

THERE'S ANOTHER PERSONFROM BABSON?

ARE YOU--SWEAR TO GOD?IS IT A BIG, POPULAR SCHOOL?

(man) NO.

ALL RIGHT.

[laughter]

BABSON? THAT'S LIKE B.U., ANDTHEN BABSON IS RIGHT BY THERE?

HOW BAD DID YOU DO ON YOUR S.A.T.s, SERIOUSLY?

[laughter]

NO, I'M KIDDING.I'M SURE YOU DID.

WHAT DO YOU GETFOR WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN?

'CAUSE THAT'SWHAT I GOT, BUT--

AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

(woman) STACEY.

STACEY WITH AN "I"? NO. "E-Y."

OH, WHATEVER.

AND WHAT DO YOU DO, STACEY?

I'M AN ARCHITECT.

YOU'RE AN ARCHITECT? REALLY?

YOU NEVER HEAR THAT.

HAVE YOU BUILT A BUILDINGOR ANYTHING?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? INCREDIBLE, HUH?

THAT'S REAL GOLD,BY THE WAY.

ALL RIGHT, JEFF AND STACEY.LET ME ASK JEWISH PEOPLE.

CAN'T YOU LOOK AT SOMEONE ANDTELL IF THEY'RE JEWISH OR NOT?

IT IS A THING, RIGHT?PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE ME.

JEWISH PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT FACESAND TELL IF THEY'RE JEWISH.

IT'S A PHENOMENAWE CAN'T EXPLAIN.

IT'S JUST LIKE BLACK PEOPLE.

BLACK PEOPLE CAN PICK OUTBLACK PEOPLE OUT OF CROWDS.

JEWISH PEOPLEDO THE SAME THING.

IT'S AN ETHNIC THING.

SHE'S LOOKING AROUNDFOR BLACK PEOPLE

TO SEE IF SHE COULD LAUGH.

LIKE, THEY'RE GOINGTO BEAT YOU UP.

"SHE SAID BLACK AND THERE WEREBLACK PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE.

"SHE IS SO CONTROVERSIAL.I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I WAS SO SCARED."

BLACK. BLACK.BLACK. JEW.

YOU CAN'T SAY "BLACK" ANYMORE;YOU CAN'T SAY "JEW;"

YOU CAN'T SAY "ORIENTAL,"UNLESS YOU'RE REFERRING

TO A RUG OR SALAD DRESSING.

YOU'RE ALWAYS INSULTING SOMEONE.

OUR COUNTRY IS SO WEIRD WITHTHIS POLITICALLY CORRECT STUFF.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY.

IT'S WHAT YOU DO.IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

I WAS AT THIS BARIN L.A. HAVING A BEER.

THIS WOMAN COMES OVERTO THE BARTENDER.

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO OFFEND HIM,

SO SHE ORDERSAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN RUSSIAN.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

[laughter]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?UGH.

YOU'RE JEWISH, RIGHT?YOU'RE NOT?

OH, MY GOD,MY JEW-DAR IS SO OFF.

[laughter]

DO YOU GET THAT? DO YOU GET THAT OR WHAT?

DO YOU HAVE ANY RELIGION?

YOU'RE POLISH. AND DO YOU HAVE ANY RELIGION--

CATHOLIC.

DO YOU GO TO CHURCH?

NO. REALLY?

NO, A LOT OF PEOPLEDON'T HAVE ANY SPIRITUALITY,

THEY DON'T GO TO CHURCH.

I'M TELLING YA,ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO RELIGION,

YOU SHOULD CONSIDERCONVERTING TO JUDAISM.

IT IS THE GREATEST.WE HAVE 20,000 HOLIDAYS.

YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO TO WORK.IT'S THE GREATEST THING.

YOU JUST CALL IN.NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA.

"HI. CAN'T COME IN TODAY.UH, IT'S BAGHOUYA."

[laughter]

"WELL, IT'S, LIKE,THREE WEEKS LONG.

"WE HAVE TO FASTFOR, LIKE, 4 1/2 DAYS.

"I'LL SEE YOU IN OCTOBER, THEN.OKAY, TAKE CARE. SHALOM.

"YEAH, IT'S IN MY DESKAND IT'S--

"YEAH, IT'S, LIKE,RIGHT UNDER MY COMPUTER--

"YOU KNOW WHAT?I CAN'T TALK AFTER SUNDOWN.

IT'S REALLY DARK OUT.I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA GO."

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