IT'S NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'S

#HASHTAGWARS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: BECAUSE MONDAYS

ALWAYS RUIN YOUR WEEKEND, WE'RE

RETURNING TO OUR TRADITION

OF A #RUINAMONDAY HASHTAG.

SO TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS

#RUINAMOVIEQUOTE.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE, "LUKE, I AM

YOUR FACEBOOK FRIEND, OR "YOU

CAN'T HANDLE THE SHIA LABEOUF,"

OR "NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A

DUMPSTER."

THOSE ARE WAYS YOU CAN RUIN A

MOVIE QUOTE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

I'M SAYING NOBODY DOES THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK STARTING NOW, AND GO.

BRAUNGER.

>> I LOVE THE SMELL OF NATHAN

IN THE MORNING.

>> Chris: IS THAT FROM TUXEDO

GUYS?

>> WE ACTUALLY TOOK THAT FROM

TUXEDO GUYS.

>> Chris: NICE, POINTS.

MARK NORMAND.

>> HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU,

KIDDIE PORN.

>> Chris: THAT WOULD RUIN THAT

MOVIE QUOTE, POINTS.

SARA SCHAEFER.

>> I'LL BE NICKELBACK.

>> Chris: BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY IT

LIKE SCHWARZENEGGER.

>> (DEEP VOICE): I'LL BE

NICKELBACK.

>> Chris: YES, POINTS, WELL

DONE.

NICE TERMINATOR.

MARK NORMAND.

>> Chris: MY SON WILL COME OUT

TOMORROW.

>> Chris: NICE, OKAY.

SURE, POINTS.

BRAUNGER.

>> THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB

IS "MEOW MEOW MEOW, KITTY

KITTY."

>> Chris: WHY COULDN'T THAT HAVE

BEEN THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT

CLUB?

OH, YES, POINTS.

MARK NORMAND.

>> THIS ONE TIME AT

CONCENTRATION CAMP...

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> Chris: IS THAT FROM THE

MOVIE "GERMAN PIE?"

(LAUGHING)

POINTS.

BRAUNGER.

>> YOU HAD ME AT "BIG BOOTY HOS

HUMP WITH IT."

>> Chris: POINTS.

SARA.

>> IF YOU SHAVE IT, HE WILL

COME.

(APPLAUSE)