Dan Mintz - Japanese Samurai Armor

Reep, Mintz, Fowler, Lampanelli Season 8, Ep 0804 03/04/2005 Views: 7,229

Dan Mintz thought he lost his 14th century Japanese samurai armor. (1:38)

REALLY NICE GUITAR.

I DON'T ACTUALLY PLAY THE GUITAR

BUT I HAVE THREE TESTICLES.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

TODAY WAS A SAD DAY.

WE HAD TO PULL THE PLUG ON MY

GRANDMOTHER 'CAUSE I NEEDED

THE OUTLET FOR MY LAPTOP.

[LAUGHTER]

THE OTHER DAY I THOUGHT I LOST

MY 14th CENTURY JAPANESE SAMURAI

ARMOR.

TURNS OUT I WAS WEARING IT THE

WHOLE TIME.

[LAUGHTER]

MY GRANDFATHER WAS ACTUALLY A

HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR.

AND YOU CAN TELL THAT IT REALLY

EFFECTED HIM BECAUSE TO THIS DAY

HE STILL WILL NOT WALK INTO A

GAS CHAMBER.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEN MY FRIEND'S GERMAN.

HIS GRANDPARENTS ACTUALLY HID

A JEW IN THEIR ATTIC DURING

WORLD WAR II.

THEY LIVED IN NEW JERSEY.

[LAUGHTER]

I STILL THINK IT'S PRETTY

ADMIRABLE.

[APPLAUSE]

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE

REALLY CONFUSING IS IF YOU'RE

PERFORMING AN ABORTION AND

SOMEONE RAN IN YELLING,

"ABORT, ABORT!"

[LAUGHTER]