Todd Lynn - Man Breasts

  • Season 9 , Ep 14
  • 05/12/2005
  • Views: 8,147

These things are impossible to get rid of. (1:48)

AND IT'S PROBABLY MY FAULT TOO,

I CAN'T FIND NOBODY 'CAUSE LIKE

I DON'T HAVE A DATING BODY,

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY NEED TO BE

IN SOME KIND OF SHAPE.

UNDERNEATH THIS IS LIKE A MESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

I GOT LIKE A PROTOPLASMIC--

I'M BUILT LIKE AN AMOEBA

UNDER HERE.

I KNOW.

I GOT BREASTS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY

CAME FROM.

[LAUGHTER]

NO, I DO.

I GOT TITTIES.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

IT'S LIKE MY BODY--

NO, HONEST-- LIKE MY BODY WENT,

"OH, YOU GONNA EAT THEM WING

DINGS AND THEM CHEESE FRIES.

OKAY, WE'RE HERE.

WEAR THESE MAN TITS AROUND.

SEE HOW THEY LOOK."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I CAN'T GET RID OF 'EM EITHER.

I'M IN THE GYM.

I'M WORKING OUT.

BUT HERE'S THE TROUBLE WITH

THAT.

YOU GO TO THE GYM RIGHT AND

THEY GOT A MACHINE FOR EVERY

BODY PART.

YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE--

OH, WE GOT SOMETHING FOR THE

LEGS, THE ARMS, THE BACK.

BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T WALK UP

TO THE TRAINER AND BE LIKE,

"EXCUSE ME, WHERE'S THE MAN TIT

MACHINE AT?

[LAUGHTER]

WHERE DO I GO TO GET RID OF

THESE D CUPS?

I CAN'T EVEN JOG ON THE

TREADMILL.

MY BREASTS ARE FALLING OUT OF

MY TANK TOP.

I'M HAVING WARDROBE

MALFUNCTIONS.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I'M A GROWN MAN.

I NEED A SPORTS BRA."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT A YEAR,

TOO, A WHOLE YEAR, ONE ENTIRE

YEAR, AND NOTHING.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.

THERE HAS BEEN NO CHANGE IN MY

WEIGHT.

NO CHANGE IN MY BODY FAT.

NO DEVELOPMENT.

NO, I TAKE THAT BACK.

I'VE DEVELOPED SOMETHING,

MY CALVES.

HOW'S THAT?

MY CALVES, WHICH IS THE MOST

INSIGNIFICANT NOT VISIBLE

BODY PART.

IN ORDER FOR ME TO SHOW THOSE

OFF I GOTTA WEAR CAPRI PANTS

AROUND AND WALK ON MY TOES.

LIKE, "LOOK AT THESE INCREDIBLE

CALVES."

I CAN TIP TOE TO LONG ISLAND.

AAH!

AAAH!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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