There's a new Whole Foodsthat opened in Brooklynnear Park Slope in Gowanus
And they are obsessedwith like fitting into the local community...
so that people don't hate them,because they're a giantbusiness.
This is how much they wantto blend into Brooklyn.
They literally sell recordsand record players.
You know how you're like ah, Ineed some broccoli rabe and arecord player.
I'll go to Whole Foods.
And one of the things they'redoing is Brooklyn Whole Foodspartnering with local artists.
Oh, they're gonna displaythe paintings of local artistslike me.
But I brought my paintings.
So each one has a sortof locally themed titleand they're very pretty.
I just want them displayedat Whole Foods.
And I won't stop until I win.
So here are my paintings.
This one is called...
Gender-neutral child learningabout the conflict in Egypt.
This painting is curly-haired38-year-old with several gayfriends ordering kale.
This painting is six personalessay authors arguing aboutwho's childhood was worse.
This is couple under a treewishing they were bi-racial.
You can see it right nextto raspberries.
This is vegan on his wayto the complain store.
I would pay to have thisdisplayed.
Right by cabbage.
And then, mother breastfeedinga roof goat, becauseit's her right.
Thank you all very much.Goodnight.
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