Shaun Majumder - Growing Up

  • Season 12, Ep 24
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 8,357

Indian boys are born covered head to toe in hair. (2:35)

USED FOR BROWN PEOPLE.

PACKY, IN MY HOME COUNTRY,PACKY IS THE WORD USED.

NOW, SEE, HERE'S THE THING,

MY PARENTS SEPARATEDWHEN I WAS A BABY. OKAY?

SO I GREW UP IN ALITTLE TINY COMMUNITY,

BURLINGTON,NEWFOUNDLAND, CANADA,

TOWN OF 350 PEOPLEWITH MY WHITE MOM, MY SISTER

AND 347 WHITE PEOPLE.I HAD NO IDEA

I WAS DIFFERENT,MY BROWN FRIEND.

I HAD NO I-DEA.I THOUGHT I WAS LIKE

EVERY OTHERSEVEN-YEAR OLD WHITE KID,RUNNING AROUND,

CUT OFF JEAN SHORTSAC/DC TANK TOP, MUSTACHE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT SHOULD HAVE BEENA DEAD GIVEAWAY

THAT I HAD INDIANGENETICS RIGHT THERE.

THE ONLY ONE IN MYFIFTH GRADE CLASS

WITH A GIANTPORN STAR MUSTACHE.

INDIAN BOYS, WHEN WE'RE BORN,JUST COVERED HEAD TO TOE

IN HAIR.IT'S DISGUSTING, OKAY?

"OH, MRS. MAJUMDER,IT'S A BRAND-NEW BABY...THREE TOED SLOTH?

EW, PUT IT BACK."I HAD TO SHAVE AROUND

TO JUST GET A MUSTACHE.THAT'S HOW HAIRY I WAS.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, I HAD NO IDEA.AND I'D HEAR KIDS AT RECESS,

"GET THE LITTLE PACKY!"AND I WAS SO EXCITED

'CAUSE I'D NEVERSEEN A PACKY BEFORE.

AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH,LET'S GET HIM. COME ON BOYS.

WHERE IS HE? LET'S GO!WOO-HO! HA, HA! WOO!"

"WHY ARE Y'ALLSTANDING AROUND STARING AT ME?

LITTLE FRIGGER'SGETTING AWAY, HA, HA."

TURNS OUT I WAS THE PACKY.NOW, OH MY GOD,

THIS IS HORRIBLE RIGHT?AND THEN I'D GET BEAT UP.

BUT THEN I FIGURED IT OUT,

MY DAD'S FROM INDIA,NOT PAKISTAN.

MY BULLIES JUSTNEEDED TO BE EDUCATED.

ANOTHER RECESS,ANOTHER BEATING. PUNCHING ME.

"HA, WE GOT YOU NOWYOU LITTLE PACKY."

"NO, NO, YOU'REGEOGRAPHICALLY INCORRECT."

"WHATEVER PACKY." "NO, NO,INDIA SUCCEEDED FROM PAKISTAN

UNDER THE INDIAN INDEPENDENCEACT ON AUGUST 15th, 1947."

"SHUT UP PACKY." "ALTHOUGHTHE SIMILARITIES ARE OBVIOUS,

"YOU CAN'T JUST LUMP US UNDERTHE SAME RACIAL STEREOTYPE

OR YOU LOSE ALL CREDIBILITYAS AN IGNORANT, RACIST, BIGOT."

"WHATEVER PACKY."I MEAN, SURE I HADMY TEETH BASHED IN,

AND I PEED MYSELF,BUT SHE WAS WRONG, OKAY?

- SHE WAS MISINFORMED.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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