Jimmy Shubert - Licking Frogs

  • Season 8, Ep 8
  • 02/19/2004
  • Views: 2,919

"Ribbit" sounds a lot like "Lick it." (1:49)

PEOPLE DO WEIRD THINGS WITH

ANIMALS, MAN.

I SAW THIS STORY IN THE NEWS

ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO ABOUT

THESE PEOPLE THAT WERE LICKIN'

FROGS TO GET HIGH.

YEAH, YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT?

THERE'S YOUR DAMN DRUG PROBLEM

RIGHT THERE.

I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU COME

FROM, THAT'S WRONG.

WELL, YOU JUST ASSUME THE WORST

WHEN YOU SEE A STORY LIKE THAT.

HOW THE HELL ELSE WOULD YOU GET

LOCKED UP FOR LICKIN' A FROG?

I DIDN'T KNOW.

I DIDN'T KNOW THESE FROGS

PERSPIRE.

THEY SECRETE A SUBSTANCE ON HIS

BACK THAT'S A CLASS-A NARCOTIC.

IT'S A VERY POWERFUL TOXIN.

IT'S PART OF THE FROG'S DEFENSE

MECHANISM.

LIKE IF ANOTHER ANIMAL TRY TO

EAT THE FROG, THE FROG SECRETES

THE SUBSTANCE.

THAT WAY WHEN THE ANIMAL GRABS

IT IN ITS MOUTH, STARTS

TRIPPIN', AND DROPS THE FROG.

SEES LIKE 14 DIFFERENT FROGS.

DOESN'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO GO

AFTER.

DOESN'T EVEN REALLY GIVE A DAMN

ABOUT THE FROG ANYMORE, WITH ALL

THAT...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND THAT'S HOW THE FROG GETS OUT

OF TROUBLE.

NOW I'M NOT MESSIN' AROUND WITH

YOU PEOPLE, IT'S THE REAL THING!

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY IT WAS ON THE NEWS.

THEY WERE MAKIN' AN ARREST.

THEY HAD THE GUY IN HANDCUFFS.

THEY'RE DRAGGIN' HIM OUT OF HIS

TRAILER ON THE EVENING NEWS.

I'M WATCHIN' THIS GOIN', "HOW

THE [BLEEP] DID HE GET CAUGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT, DID THE FROG SQUEAL ON

HIM?

"AND THEN HE LICKED ME!

I FELT SO CHEAP!

I WAS SITTIN' THERE GOIN'

RIBBIT, RIBBIT.

BUT HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS

SAYIN' LICK IT, LICK IT.

AND HE WOULDN'T STOP."

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