Adam Ray - Pot Smokers & Finding a Supermarket

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 12/05/2013
  • Views: 4,940

Adam Ray is not thrilled that his 15-year-old cousin is a stoner. (2:12)

[audience cheers]

OH, YOU GUYS LIKE POT?

[audience cheers]

WHAT WAS THAT, BUDDY?

- A LOT OF IT!

- A LOT OF IT?YEAH.

ARE YOU THE DEALERIN THE CROWD TONIGHT?

OR ARE YOU JUSTLOOKING FOR SOME?

NO, DON'T UNBUTTON YOUR JACKET,MOTHER [bleep],

TAKE IT EASY, YEAH.

NOBODY ASKED YOUTO UNDRESS YOURSELF

AFTER THAT COMMENT.

"YEAH, A LOT OF POT.MIND IF I TAKE MY PANTS OFF?"

YEAH, I DO, ACTUALLY.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DOWHEN YOU SMOKE POT, BUDDY?

- LISTEN TO RECORDS.

- "LISTEN TO RECORDS," YEAH,THAT'S A PRETTY STANDARD ANSWER.

YEAH, IF WE WERE PLAYINGSTONER FAMILY FEUD,

THAT'D PROBABLY BETHE NUMBER ONE ANSWER, RIGHT?

"LISTEN TO MUSIC, MAN."

I ASKED A GUY AT A SHOW ONCE,"WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO

WHEN YOU SMOKE POT?"HE GOES, "COCAINE."

I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, WELL,THAT'S A DIFFERENT RESPONSE.

IT IS A GATEWAY DRUG,SO I'LL GIVE YOU THAT."

EVERYBODY SMOKES WEED.I JUST FOUND OUT

MY 15-YEAR-OLD COUSINSMOKES POT.

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?

KID WANTS TO BE AN ADULTBEFORE HE EVEN GROWS UP.

I TRIED TO CURB THE HABIT,RIGHT?

SO I TELL HIMTHAT I SMOKE A LITTLE TOO,

TO TRY TO ENCOURAGE IT TO--NOT BECOMING A PROBLEM.

NEVER SEEN A KIDGET MORE EXCITED

ABOUT ANYTHINGIN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

JUST LIKE, "DUDE, ADAM,YOU SMOKE POT?

"[laughs]

DUDE, HOW HAVE WENOT SMOKED TOGETHER YET?"

I WAS LIKE, "'HOW HAVE WENOT SMOKED TOGETHER YET?'

"DUDE, FIVE YEARS AGO,YOU WERE TEN.

"WHAT THE [bleep]ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU JUST STARTED USINGDEODORANT, MAN, TAKE IT EASY."

I GET TO TRAVEL A LOTTO DO THIS, WHICH IS GREAT,

BUT IT'S TOUGH TO EATON THE ROAD.

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUSTA LOT OF FAST FOOD,

SO I TRY TO ALWAYSHIT A GROCERY STORE,

BUY MY OWN STUFF.

I WAS IN NORTH CAROLINA,TRYING TO FIND A GROCERY STORE,

SO I JUST ASKED A DUDEON THE STREET,

"HEY, MAN,WHERE'S, LIKE,

YOUR MAIN GROCERY STOREAROUND HERE?"

AND THE GUY'S LIKE, "WELL,WE'VE TWO MAIN SUPERMARKETS.

"THERE'S ONE CALLEDHARRIS TEETERS,

AND ANOTHER ONECALLED FOOD LION, SO."

"OH, I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY'FOOD LINE' OR 'FOOD LION'"?

AND HE GOES,"OH, GOD, I'M SORRY, MY BAD.

FOOD LION,YOU KNOW, LIKE RAWR!"

[imitates cat hissing]

YOU KNOW.

I WAS LIKE, WHAT THE HELL?THIS GUY THINKS LIONS GO "RAWR."

[imitates cat hissing]

SCREW THE GROCERY STORE,TAKE ME TO THAT ZOO.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ONOVER THERE?

AND THEN I WAS LIKE,THAT'D BE AMAZING

TO HEAR THIS DUDEBE THE VOICE OF, LIKE,

THOSE CHILDREN'SANIMAL SOUND TOYS.

YOU KNOW,WHERE YOU PULL THE STRING,

AND IT'S LIKE,"A BEAR GOES--"

"OH, GOD, I COULD REALLYGO FOR SOME HONEY RIGHT NOW.

"OH, MY GOD,HOW GOOD DOES THAT SOUND?

JUST HONEY EVERYWHERE,IT'D BE AMAZING!"

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