Dov Davidoff - Dogs Sniffing People

  • Season 11 , Ep 5
  • 01/25/2007
  • Views: 14,715

Dov Davidoff's dog likes to sniff people -- that alone is kind of humorous. (2:53)

YEAH. THAT ALONE IS KINDA HUMOROUS.

I WAS IN THE PARK AND THIS WOMAN IS SITTING ON THE BENCH.

AND SHE HAS HER LEGS OPEN A LITTLE BIT.

AND MY DOG JUST MADE A BEELINE, JUST RIGHT IN BETWEEN 'EM.

AND THEN SHE GOES, "HEH, HEH."

SHE GOES,

- "HE SMELLS MY DOG."- [LAUGHTER, OH'S AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, JOHNNY?

"HE SMELLS MY DOG." ALL RIGHT.

WHAT-- HE DIDN'T START AT YOUR ANKLE, THOUGH.

HE JUST-- [NOISE]. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH--

BUT THE POINT IS-- YOU KNOW, I JUST MOVED INTO A NEW APT--

LATINO PEOPLE HERE? OH, MY LATINOS.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

I MET MY NEIGHBOR FOR THE FIRST TIME, SWEET GUY. HE HELPED ME MOVE IN.

PUERTO RICAN GUY. HIS NAME IS ISRAEL.

I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD NAME A PUERTO RICAN ISRAEL.

'CAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY SURE YOU NEVER MEET A JEW

BY THE NAME OF PUERTO RICO. SAY HELLO TO MY SON,

"PUERTO RICO FEINSTEIN.SAY HI-- SAY HI, PUERTO RICO."

MY GIRLFRIEND'S GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME BECAUSE HER DOG

LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF MY GENITALS ONE TIME.

GET A SENSE A HUMOR, RIGHT? YO FLUFFY'S WAGGIN' HIS TAIL.

I'M CLEAN. WHO'S GETTIN' HURT IN THIS SCENARIO?

NO, THE POINT-- THAT'S A GOOD PICTURE.

I GREW UPIN A JUNKYARD, FOR REAL.

BUT THE POINT IS--HEY, YOU EVER DROP ACID?

20 MINUTES LATER YOU'RE DOING COMEDY AND-- EH-HEH...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

AH-HAH! ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.I DON'T GET HIGH ANYMORE MYSELF.

LET ME JUST START OUT BY SAYING THAT.

I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE IT-- LOOK THE POINT IS-- LIKE,

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO HIGH WHEN YOU'RE EATING CEREAL NAKED

AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS LIKE, "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON,"

AND YOU REALIZEIT'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

- IT'S JUST A WOMAN ON A BUS. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THE POINT IS FAMILY IS DIFFICULT, JOHNNY.

MY FATHER SMOKED WEED IN THE BATHROOM WHEN I WAS A KID.

AND THERE WAS SMOKE POURING OUT UNDER THE DOOR. AND I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.

I WOULD KNOCK AT THE DOOR. I'D BE LIKE, "ARE YOU OKAY?"

AND HE WAS SO HIGH HE COULDN'T RESPOND

WITH ANYTHING THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE QUESTION.

YOU LITERALLY HEARD HIMIN THERE GO, "[INHALES]

- I'M IN THE GARAGE!" - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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