We're done.
Our final night in Cleveland.
The Republican NationalConvention is over,
and at this rate, pretty soon,the country will also be over.
And yesterday, Donald Trump
spent his entire75-minute speech
pitching a horror movie abouthow a fictional America
is a place where you should beafraid of everything.
Now, we-we had a whole showplanned about Trump, you know.
We had him in, like,a Jason mask,
and we had all these jokesabout that.
But then a few hours ago,we're like, (bleep) it.
-Um... yeah.-(laughter)
Yeah, to be honest with you,like,
we always talk about Trump,all of us, all of us.
The guy says anything,and it's news.
Like, he farts from his mouth
and we talk about it for hours,you know?
Like, "Oh, what do you thinkthat smell means?"
But, but you know what?
His convention is over.It's over.
He said what he needed to say.
And-and later, later on in theshow we'll break down
how much bull (bleep) he spoke,
but for now let's-let's talkabout something else.
Because it was easy to forgetthis week
that while this (bleep) show wasgoing on,
other things were stillhappening in the world.
You know, the British appointed
their second ever femaleprime minister.
-Uh, yeah.-(cheers and applause)
Um, America maybe bombed70 civilians in Syria,
and just a week after peaktension around police shootings,
this happened:
REPORTER: A behavioral therapist was shot by an officer
after he held his hands in the air, lying on the ground.
REPORTER 2: He was in the street trying to retrieve
an autistic man who wandered away from a group home.
REPORTER 3: Just moments before the shooting,
you can see 47-year-old Charles Kinsey,
his hands raised in the air.
REPORTER 4: He told police not to fire
but an officer shot him in the leg anyway.
Anyway?
Shot him in the leg anyway?
Oh, it's almost like the copwas like, uh,
"Well, I mean, I'm-I'm here,so I might as well, uh..."
(laughter)
And now, now, luckily,as horrible as the story is,
there is some good news.
The man who was shot,Charles Kinsey,
is in good shape and is expectedto make a full recovery.
So that is good news.
-That is good news.-(applause)
In fact, in fact, and-and thisis, this is true,
The Florida native even saidwhen he was shot
he thought he was being bittenby a mosquito,
which-which sounds ridiculous
until you see the mosquitoesin Florida.
-Then, then you understand.-(laughter)
But, but really, people?
The guy got shot while lyingdown on the ground
with his hands in the air.
And at this point,I no longer know
what black people need to doto not get shot.
Because I-I don't understand.
You-you walk towards apoliceman, you get shot.
Walk away from a policeman,you get shot.
You lie down on the groundwith your hands in the air,
you still get shot.
You're on the ground,you're lying down.
There's-there's no other way tobe less threatening
and still be black.
Like at this rate,I wouldn't be shocked
if we started hearingpolice are shooting
black people in their graves.
You know? It's just like,"What happened, Officer?"
"Well, the suspect was, uh,decomposing in a manner
that was threatening, and, uh,I had to defend myself."
And look, some people might say,
"Oh, well, maybe the cophad a reason to shoot."
Well, it turns out,that's not true.
He didn't have a good reason.
In fact, the policeman didn'teven have a reason.
"When he hit me, I'm like,I still got my hands in the air.
I said, you know,I just got shot.
And I'm standing there,I'm like,
"Sir, why did you shoot me?"
And he says, and his words tome, he said, "I don't know."
(audience reacts)
You know what?
That, uh, that answer's, uh,it's actually refreshing.
Yeah.
No excuses.
No shifting the blame.
Just, "I don't know."
Kind of reminds me-- kind ofreminds me of myself as a kid.
You know, my-my mom would comein and be like,
"Why did you draw on the wall?"
I'd be like, "I don't know."
(laughter)
That's exactly how I looked.
I'd be like, "I don't know.I don't know."
I didn't know why I drewon the wall.
I just like, I was just like,there's crayons,
and there's a wall,and... you know?
And if there's wallsand if there's crayons,
I'm-I'm going to draw.
I-I have nothing against walls,
but it's just, like, if there'scrayons around,
and there's walls,someone's going to get hurt.
And my mom would be, like,"Yeah, you."
(laughter)
But, but what makes the storyeven crazier,
is the fact that the cop firedthree times.
Fired three shots.
Yeah, because they say "shot"like it was one bullet.
And, yes,one bullet hit the person,
but the cop pulled the triggerthree times... by mistake?
I mean, I understand one bullet,but three?
Like, what is the... what is thecop going...
Why-why did you shootthree times?
Like, "Well, what happened was,
"uh,after I fired the first shot,
"uh, shots had been fired,and I had to defend myself,
so, uh, so this is really, uh,you know?"
This story is so twisted,
and the crazier thingis it gets even twistier.
REPORTER: The police union representing the officer said
that the cop was actually trying to shoot
the autistic man, but he missed.
Oh...!
Oh! That-that explains it.
We thought you were tryingto shoot the...
Here we are judging,
because we thoughtyou were trying to shoot
an unarmed black,but it turns out
you were shooting an autisticperson who posed no threat.
Oh, now I get it.
Now I get it.
You know,the more the story plays out,
the crazier and crazierthe report gets.
Police say it all startedwhen they got a call
about a man threatening suicide.
Really?
So, wait,let me understand this,
someone called the policeand told them that a person
was trying to shoot themselves,
and the police response was,
"Hey, we need to stop someonefrom shooting themselves!
Quick! Get your guns!Get your guns!"
How does that work?
You know what, you know,we can... we can spend
all of our time vilifyingthe police,
trying to place blame on eitherside of every single story,
but, I'm sorry,I've-I've got to say this,
I'm-I'm gonna be honestwith you,
in America,the job of a police officer
is way too broad.
We expect the policeto handle everything.
Someone has a broken taillight,the police need to handle it.
Someone's robbing a brank...a bank,
the police need to handle thatas well.
Like, your neighbor'splaying loud music,
you call the police for that.
A personwith mental health issues
maybe threateningto harm themselves,
the police need to handle thatas well.
We're asking too much of them,which is not right.
Obviously,things are gonna go wrong.
It's-it's a recipe for disaster.
For instance,think of it like this,
when we're flying,we don't do that.
We don't call the pilotwhen we want a drink,
because we know pilots havea separate job
and that job is to keep us safein the air,
the same way flight attendantshave a separate job
and that job is to stop peoplefrom banging in the bathroom.
That's what we know. Yeah.
That's whatthey've been trained for.
Peanuts? Yes.
Penis? No.
They've been trained for that.
(cheering and applause)
And the reason,
the reason we don't askthe pilot to do it
is because we knowit could go terribly wrong.
If the pilot was doing this..."Stop them from having sex!"
He'd be like,"Okay. Hey, stop having sex!"
"No!" "Okay."
(mimics plane descending,crashing)
"Why did you crash the plane?"
"Well, it's the only wayI knew how to stop them."
"And how are you still alive?"
"It's for the purposesof this joke. Leave me alone."
Look, look, America,
if we want to help minorities,
one of the ways we can do it isby helping the police.
Because if this carries on,
the distrust that citizens havein the police will rise.
The police will feel more andmore threatened by the public
that doesn't trust them,and the cycle will only continue
to get worse. And that,
that, Donald J. Trump,
is somethingto reall be afraid of.