The Amazing Johnathan - Money Illusion

The Amazing Johnathan: Wrong on Every Level Season 1, Ep 101 11/18/2006 Views: 21,880

A volunteer from the audience gives the Amazing Johnathan a $20 bill and hopes for the best. (3:22)

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- HEY, GIMME A 20. - [LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT,WE'LL USE ONE OF MY OWN.

NOW, ON THE BACK ON THE 20, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT BUILDING IS?

YES. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S THE WHITE HOUSE.THE WHITE HOUSE.THANK GOD YOU KNEW THAT.

I'VE JUST BEEN IN VEGAS DURING NASCAR. EVERY NIGHT I ASKED

I GOT GRACELAND FOR THE ANSWER.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.WE'RE RIPPING THE CORNERFROM YOUR 20.

IT'S AN ILLUSION.YEAH.

YEAH. THAT'S WHYI GET THE BIG BUCKS.

IT LOOKS REAL, DOESN'T IT?UH-HUH.

WELL, IT'S MORE OR LESS A RECEIPT FOR YOU IN CASE YOU LOSE THIS.

YOU TAKE THE CORNER TO A BANK YOU EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED,

THEY'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH THIS.

BUT I NEED YOU TO BE THE SAFEGUARD OF THIS.

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH THAT AND KEEP IN YOUR TOP POCKED,

IF YOU WOULD PLEASE, ALL RIGHT? PUT IT IN YOUR SHIRT POCKET.

OH, MAN, YOU'RE GOOD. YOU ARE GOOD.

YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET YOUR ASS.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S A MISSION.

♪ DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA... ♪

[LAUGHTER]

OKAY, NOW.

WE ROLL THIS UP INTO A LITTLE, TINY $20 BILL BALL.

HOLD THAT, RIGHT LIKE THAT. THIS IS A CHICK PAN.

WE USE ON THE FARM TO BURN SICK BABY CHICKS IN...

[OH'S AND LAUGHTER]

WHEN THEY'RE SICK. IT'S HUMANE.

YOU CAN TELL WHEN THEY'RE SICK, TOO

- THEY GET YELLOW AND FUZZY. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEY MAKE THAT, "PEEP, PEEP, PEEP, PEEP" SOUND,

ESPECIALLY WHENTHEY'RE IN THERE BURNINGTHEY MAKE THAT SOUND.

HOLD IT. I WANT YOU TO PUT YOUR 20 IN THERE PLEASE.

JUST DROP IT IN THERE. AND THIS IS LIGHTER FLUID.

OKAY, NOW, DON'T MOVE. WE DON'T WANT TO TAKE CHANCES.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, OKAY? BUT IT'S NOT EVEN LIGHTER FLUID

OR I WOULDN'T BE SQUIRTING YOU LIKE THAT IF IT WAS.

- ALL RIGHT NOW-- OH, [BLEEP]! - [LAUGHTER]

NAHHH! MY THUMB WAS ON FIRE. DID YOU SEE THAT?

THAT WAS AWESOME.

- NOW COMES THE PAIN PART. - [LAUGHTER]

AHHH!

OKAY, NOW--LOOK AT YOUR 20.

IS IT BURNING?YES.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S BURNING 'CAUSE THERE'S A FIRE IN THE PAN.

BUT LOOK AT THE 20 ITSELF IS IT TURNING BLACK?

YEAH, IT'S TURNING.

AH, [BLEEP]! OKAY WELL,

THAT GOES ON THE LIST OF [BLEEP] I CAN'T DO!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO, YOU SHOULD SEE THE LIST.

IT'S GETTING HUGE.

IT'S GOING RIGHT THERE.

IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]