The Amazing Johnathan - Madame Isabella Queen of the Night

  • Season 5 , Ep 1
  • 06/24/2001
  • Views: 8,361

Tonya left the blindfold in the car. (5:26)

CLASSIC A MAGIC TRICK,

IT'S CALLED THE MYSTERY

OF THE CHINESE LINKING RINGS.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY ARE ALREADY

LINKED.

THAT SAVES US HEAPS OF TIME.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT CAN BE SOME BLIND CRAP,

LET ME TELL YA.

WE ARE GOING TO BRING OUT A

SPECIAL GUEST RIGHT NOW.

THIS GIRL I AM ABOUT TO

INTRODUCE YOU TO, I'M NOT GONNA

LIE TO YOU, I FIRST SAW HER

PERFORM AT A STRIP CLUB HERE IN

NEW YORK AND I WAS SO IMPRESSED

WITH THE MAGIC TRICKS I SAW HER

DO, STUFF THAT I COULD NEVER

BEGIN TO DREAM OF TRYING,

THAT SHE IS GOING TO COME OUT,

AND DO A TRICK FOR YOU ALL--

NOT THE SAME ONE THAT I SAW...

(LAUGHTER)

(MEN GROAN IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

NO, NO, NO--

IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT THE

RIGHT CROWD-- YOU ARE.

IT'S JUST THAT WE LOST THE

PING PONG BALL EARLIER,

AND UH...

(LAUGHTER)

IF YOU FIND IT, DON'T PICK IT

UP-- TRUST ME.

LEAVE IT WHERE IT IS.

BUT SHE WORKED REAL HARD ON A

BRAND NEW TRICK.

SHE CLAIMS THAT SHE'S A PSYCHIC

NOW.

I'M GONNA LET HER TRY THIS OUT.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO HER.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET'S MAKE

HER FEEL WELCOME.

PSYCHIC TANYA.

TANYA.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT!

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'RE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD,

AREN'T YA?

(SNAPS) OVER HERE.

NOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO--

WE'RE GOING TO BLINDFOLD

PSYCHIC TANYA...

TANYA>> NO, NO-

IT'S MADAME ISABELLA-

QUEEN OF THE NIGHT!

JOHNATHAN>> YOU'VE CHANGED IT

AGAIN, HAVE WE?

TANYA>> UH-HUH.

JOHNATHAN>> ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

WE'RE GONNA BLINDFOLD IT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND WE'RE GONNA HOLD UP RANDOM

OBJECTS AND HER JOB IS TO TRY

AND GUESS WHAT THE RANDOM OBJECT

IS, EVEN THOUGH SHE IS

COMPLETELY BLINDFOLDED.

(WHISPERING)

ALL RIGHT.

A LA-LA.

LA-LA.

A LA-LA.

LA-LA

SHH.

CHANGE OF PLANS.

SOMEBODY'S LEFT THE BLINDFOLD

IN THE CAR.

TANYA>> I DID.

JOHNATHAN>> YEAH, I KNOW WHO

THE HELL IT WAS.

(TANYA GIGGLES)

JOHNATHAN>> SO, WE'RE GOING

TO HAVE TO TRY AND FIND A

BLINDFOLD, OR SOMETHING WE CAN

USE AS A BLINDFOLD TEMPORARILY.

UM, HERE, TONIGHT, WE USE--

THIS'LL WORK.

TWO ORDINARY PLAYING CARDS.

AND...A STAPLE GUN.

WE'LL ATTACH A PART OVER EACH

EYE... LIKE THAT.

AND SO THOSE STAY ON THERE,

HERE'S AN IDEA.

TAPE.

AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND

AND AROUND...LIKE THAT.

YOUR HAIR LOOKS FINE.

NOW...

VOILA-- WE HAVE A BLINDFOLD.

NOW...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

TO YOURSELVES RIGHT NOW--

ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN IN THE

AUDIENCE.

YOU'RE SAYING: HEY, SHE CAN SEE

THROUGH THAT.

TANYA>> I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING

IN FRONT OF ME.

ALL RIGHT.

THEN LET'S THROW A BLACK SHEET

OVER HER HEAD AS WELL.

AND WE'LL HOLD THAT BLACK SHEET

IN PLACE WITH SOME MORE TAPE.

LIKE THIS.

AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.

AND THEN MAYBE NEXT TIME

MADAME ISABELLA WON'T FORGET

THE (BLEEP)-DAMNED BLINDFOLD...

IN THE (BLEEP)-DAMNED CAR!

WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG!

I'M SORRY YOU ALL HAD TO SEE

THAT.

RANDOM OBJECT NUMBER ONE.

MADAME ISABELLA...

TANYA>> QUEEN OF THE NIGHT...

JOHNATHAN>> WHATEVER.

CONCENTRATE AND TELL ME WHAT IT

IS THAT YOU SEE, PLEASE.

TANYA>> OKIE DOKIE.

(MAKES "UM" NOISES)

I SEE A FIVE OF SHOVELS AND A

SEVEN OF CLOVERS.

JOHNATHAN>> THOSE WOULD BE THE

CARDS I JUST STAPLED OVER YOUR

(BLEEP)-DAMNED EYES!

TANYA>> OH, YEAH.

JOHNATHAN>> LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

AND THEY'RE NOT SHOVELS AND

CLOVERS!

IT'S SPADES AND CLUBS.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL

YOU THAT?

TANYA>> OH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

RIGHT.

JOHNATHAN>> I HAVE SOMETHING

IN HAND.

TANYA>> OW!

JOHNATHAN>> CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT

IT IS?

TANYA>> A MICROPHONE?

HUH?

I GOT IT RIGHT.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.

JOHNATHAN>> NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

THE OTHER HAND.

TANYA>> OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU BE

MORE SPECIFIC?

(GIGGLES)

I SEE SOMETHING SMALL THAT YOU

DON'T USE VERY MUCH.

HUH?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

JOHNATHAN>> NO.

THE OTHER HAND.

TANYA>> I SEE...

CAN I GET A HINT?

JOHNATHAN>> SCISSORS.

TANYA>> NOPE.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I SEE.

CAN I GET ANOTHER HINT?

JOHNATHAN>> IT'S SCISSORS.

TANYA>> UM, CAN I FEEL THE

OBJECT?

JOHNATHAN>> CERTAINLY.

TANYA>> OW!

JOHNATHAN>> WELL, WHO THE HELL

DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT?

(APPLAUSE)

ANY CLUES?

TANYA>> UM, UM, UM, UM.

OW!

UM.

SCISSORS?

JOHNATHAN>> SCISSORS!

YEAH!

YOU DID IT!

UNBELIEVABLE!

THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE!

TAKE A BOW!

THANK YOU.

LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

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