Hate-Reading Zayn Malik's Autobiography

Wednesday, November 2, 2016 11/02/2016 Views: 213

Inspired by Zayn Malik's new memoir, Jim Norton, Jena Friedman and Ryan Stout name other celebrity tell-alls that they have no intention of reading. (1:28)

Uh... Twitter is abuzz this week

over the release of a newautobiography by Zayn Malik

with a cleverly nuanced title

that hints to what is likelysome very thoughtful writing.

Nah, I'm (bleep) with you.He called it Zayn.

Just named it after himself.There it is right there.

As you can see,the first 500 copies

were signed Zorro. Uh...

The only thing...

the only thing the coverof this book is missing

is about eight more Zs.

Like right after that,right there.

The author himself tweeted outthis image yesterday,

alluding to the factthat Zayn foolishly wrote

each book by hand.

"And then I (bleep)this other girl."

No, I'm kidding.I haven't read it,

but according to the trendinghashtag #zaynbook,

he devoted a chapterto his respect for women.

He's going to get so muchpussy for that, you guys.


Oh, unless they're into zaynal.We don't know.

But, comedians, let's be honest,

we're not weepy 12-year-olds.

I assume none of usare going to read this book.

Please give me anothercelebrity tell-all book

you'd hate-read.

-Jim Norton. -Ten Easy Ways

to Get That Smell Off Your Fingers by Donald Trump.

-All right.-(cheers and applause)


Points. Points.

-(bell dings)-Jena.

Huma's Dick:

Tales from Anthony Weiner's Wife.

All right, points.


Ryan Stout.

How to Find Clean Urine in a Pinch by Andy Dick.

All right, points.