Kathleen Madigan - Reasons to Quit Smoking

  • Season 3 , Ep 5
  • 07/04/2000
  • Views: 16,373

Smoking will do some horrible things to your voice. (0:59)

ALTHOUGH I DID QUIT SMOKING.

THAT'S A GOOD LITTLEHEALTH MOVE THERE.

THANK YOU.

[applause]

THANK YOU.

I GOT TO BE HONEST--

I DID NOT WANT TO QUIT.I LOVED SMOKING.

BUT I SAW A REASON TO QUIT.

IF YOU'RE A WOMAN AND YOU WANTTO SEE A REASON TO QUIT SMOKING,

JUST GO TO LAS VEGAS,GO TO ANY CASINO,

GO DIRECTLY TO THENICKEL SLOT MACHINE AREA,

AND STAND NEXT TO ONE OF THEM900-YEAR-OLD LADIES

THAT'S STILL SMOKINGAND WAIT TO HEAR 'EM TALK.

OH, RIGHT IN FRONTOF THE SLOT MACHINES GOING,

[huskily]"I JUST NEED ONE MORE ROLLOF NICKELS."

[laughter]

"AND A COCKTAIL.

"WHAT'S IT TAKETO GET A [bleep] COCKTAIL?

"THIS SERVICE IS APPALLING.

"IF I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC,I'D COME HERE TO QUIT DRINKING,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE."

NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE.

[cheers and applause]

Loading...