Defending Your Tweet - Kumail Nanjiani & Reggie Watts

Season 1 , Ep 10 04/23/13 Views: 18,417

Kumail Nanjiani bashes banana-flavored Laffy Taffy, and Reggie Watts poses an R-rated question. (2:49)

AND CALL UP THE MORGUE.

IT'S "DEFENDING YOUR TWEET."

[cheers and applause]- YES!

- YOU TWEETED IT,NOW I'M GONNA READ IT

AND ASK YOU TO DEFEND ITIN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE.

KUMAIL NANJIANI,

ON MARCH 24TH,YOU TWEETED...

[laughter]

KUMAIL, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THIS.IT'S HORRIBLE.

- I WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN

HOW YOU ENDED UPWANTING A FORK IN YOUR DICK.

- HAVE YOU EV--

- DO YOU LIKEBANANA LAFFY TAFFY?

- N-NO, IT'S HORRIBLE.- OKAY.

- IT'S LIKE SOMEONEWHISPERED THE WORD "BANANA"

INTO A PIECE OF SILLY PUTTY.

[laughter]- OKAY.

NOW, THAT'S WHATI'M LOOKING FOR.

THAT'S A DEFENSE, KUMAIL.

SHUT THE [bleep] UP.[laughter]

REGGIE...[cheers and applause]

REGGIE.- YES.

- ON NOVEMBER 1ST,YOU TWEETED--

- YOU'RE GONNA JUSTHAVE TO REDO IT

IF YOU DON'TGIVE ME A HIGH FIVE.

- NO.[laughter]

- YOU'RE JUST GONNAHAVE TO REDO IT.

- I'M GONNA LEAVE IT LIKE--OH!- OH!

- OH! OH!

[cheers and applause]

OH!- OH!

[cheers and applause]

[audience hooting]

- OH.

A JESELNIK FIRST--THERE'S YOUR ICE.

- THAT'S WHATI WAS GONNA SAY!

I WAS--I WAS LIKE,"THAT MA--THAT'S A FIRST."

- ALL RIGHT, WHILE KUMAIL GETSHIS [bleep] TOGETHER, REGGIE...

- [laughs]- EVERYTHING'S COOL, GUYS.

I'M OKAY.[forced laugh]

CAN I GET A REFILL?

- YEAH, SOMEBODYRUN TO A LIQUOR STORE.

REGGIE...

ON NOVEMBER 1ST--

REGGIE, ON NOVEMBER 1ST,YOU TWEETED...

[laughter]

REGGIE WATTS,DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- FIRST OF ALL, I THINKIT'S A TOTALLY REASONABLE, UH...

THING TO QUESTION.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER THINGIS IT'S JUST TWO CHOICES.

THEY'RE NOT MIXED,IT'S JUST CLEARLY TWO CHOICES.

THAT'S IT.THEY'RE NOT ASSOCIATED AT ALL.

IT'S JUST,YOU KNOW, PICK ONE.

- WEIRDLY, THEY'RE NOTMUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE EITHER.

- OH![cheers and applause]

OH, MY GOSH.

[cheers and applause]

FINALLY, KUMAIL NANJIANIDOES SOMETHING RIGHT.

THANK YOU GUYS BOTHFOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.

AND BE SURE TO WATCHKUMAIL'S HOUR SPECIAL

BETA MALE, PREMIERINGJUNE 22ND ON COMEDY CENTRAL.

AND CHECK OUT REGGIE'S NEW VIDEO IF YOU'RE [bleep]ING

AT JASH.COM.

THAT'S J-A-S-H.COM.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKWITH MORE SHOW.

[cheers and applause]

[electronic music]

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