(man) Please report immediately to the main auditorium.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I knowthat many of you
have been to seen the shroudof Turin.
I know that some ofyou have been to Houston
to see the face of Jesusreflected in linoleum.
Well, I am here today totell you that I have witnessed
a genuine miracle withmy own eyes.
Behold, the trueand magnificent glory of
What happenedto the lights?
Could somebody fixthe fuse box?
Someone has stolenThe Spaghetti Jesus!
Come up here.
What is thataround your mouth?
What kind of person wouldeat The Spaghetti Jesus?
Have youno shame?
I got high at one of the boothsand I got the munchies.
This miracle was meant to beshared by all of Christendom.
God, I feelsick.
Give us backour holy relic.
All of it.
He had a beard.
I've never seen anythingso beautiful.
The visage is evenclearer than before.
You can see the laugh linesaround Christ's eyes.
Go brushyour teeth, sister.
Come witness the new miracle,the glorious vomit Jesus!
Oh no, quickly,get those lights on now!(crashing)