Hey, welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Rory Albanese.
And Nightly Show contributorRobin Thede.
And he's the mayorof Braddock, Pennsylvania--
welcome back John Fetterman.
And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now
on Twitter @NightlyShowusing the hashtag #Tonightly.
So, last night,first night of RNC convention,
Didn't take long. I love that itwas an out-of-work journalist,
uh, a brother who'sjust sitting at a Starbucks,
going, "That (bleep)sounds familiar."
ALBANESE: If he's out of work,he's probably at Dunkin' Donuts.
I hope he has a job now.That was awesome.
But he tweeted it, and,you know, it wasn't long
before everybody realizedshe was plagiarizing passages.
Let's show the speech again.
You work hardfor what you want in life.
You work hard for whatyou want in life.
...that your word is your bond,
that you do what you sayyou're gonna do.
...that your word is your bond,
and you do what you say,and keep your promise.
Whew! Okay, so my theory,
I think she wrote it.
I believe herwhen she said that.
That's what she told Matt Lauer.
She said she wrote it,and I think she just changed
a few words, like she's doingsome geography...
fifth grade exam or something,
you know, like...paper or something.
Do you thinkshe wrote it herself,
-or do you think it was, like...-Larry, I'm concerned
-that we're kind of playinginto Trump's hands. -Yeah.
-I was in the green room...-You mean his tiny hands.
His tiny hands.I was in the green room,
-going through Twitter,-Yeah.
and apparently, Donald Trump'sgonna drop a Snapchat video
-Mm-hmm. -of Melaniaon the phone with Michelle Obama
and Michelle saying,"I'm gonna let you have it."
-That's right. Very nice.-So I think he's gonna...
-Very nice.-he's gonna flip it.
-WILMORE: Yeah. Kanye.-So I don't... so I'm a lit...
-I'm pumping the brakes onsome of what I said. -Oh, no.
I love that theory.
-Yeah.-That's very nice, though.
-Robin? -I thinkthere was a Trump staffer who...
Their campaign isjust the Wild West.
They don't care. They'vejust got, like, 11 staffers
running around crazy.
-Of course she didn't write it.-Yeah.
As somebody who just gotoff a campaign and I ran for...
Uh, I think whoever wrote itis beside the point.
-THEDE: Yeah.-The fact is it's...
it's a Dumpster fireand a train...
-Absolutely. -Like, the factthat a presidential campaign
-would even be dealingwith something like this, -Yeah.
um, is-is appalling.
-Yeah. Agreed. -Yes, it's partof this phenomena of Trump.
His whole campaignis a Dumpster fire.
-Yeah. Yeah. -It's a toiletfire, really, is what it is.
It's a toilet...it's a toilet on fire,
-and we can't stop watching it.-It's a "Scott Bai...
-Yeah. Yeah.-It's a "Scott Baio speaking
at your presidential convention"fire, yeah.
But it does...but, Robin, I don't...
I have to disagree,that I don't think...
Because it was so close,someone had to copy that, right?
No, somebody copied it. I thinkone of the staffers copied it.
You think a staffer sat downand copied Michelle Obama's...
-Yes! -ALBANESE:He doesn't have a staff.
He doesn't even have a staff--he has, like,
four people working there.
-Yeah. -Yes,and they're pressed for time,
so they just Googlethe good speech...
She said she worked on itfor five or six weeks.
She lied! That's whatthe Trump campaign does!
-WILMORE: I know they...-They lie!
-WILMORE: I know they do. I knowthey lie. -What! They lie!
-(applause, cheering)-I know!
THEDE:They lie about everything!
Normally... normally,you and I agree, Robin,
but I have to say this--one, lying is Clinton's thing.
You know what I mean?So, like, Trump's got to lay off
the lying,'cause that's a Clinton thing.
And second of all...
-It's like stealing is-is...-It is, because, like...
-Trump's thing, right? -he'sstarting to get into the, like,
what is "is" now, you know?He's like, "What is plagiarism
is not..." I'm like,"Ooh, very Clintonian of you."
-Stay in your lane. Right.-And, um...
No, but I think, to me,this whole Melania thing,
this is like a classic... Like,she lives in hot world, man.
-She's a hot girl.This is how... -Hot world.
This is how hot girlsget through high school.
-(woman shrieks, laughs) -No,they're like... No, they do.
They do. They cheat...
No, they-they copy...they copy from nerds.
They don't get in trouble,there's no consequence.
-Hot world.-Yeah, hot world is like...
-Yeah, I love that. -Like,if someone like Melania could,
like, get caught shoplifting,she's like, "Did I do this?"
And they're like, "Oh, take it,just take it home with you.
You're adorable."You know?
They just get away... And it'slike, this is the first time
in her life she's like, "This...What is this accountability
thing?" You know?Like, she doesn't understand.
-That's a dead-on Melania.-Thank you, I've been
-working on it.-No, I can tell. -I-I feel like
a lot of Trump's campaign... Heis like Terminator 2, I mean...
he-he gets destroyedand he comes back stronger.
His campaign is post-factual.It doesn't matter. Like...
-Post factual! -(laughs)-Honestly, I mean...
-You know, it-it...-WILMORE: I agree.
-(cheering, applause)-It-It's... Like, what...
-Yeah, you know? Um, so... Yeah.-That's great.
And he lies right to people'sfaces. He's such a sociopath.
They should have just owned it.They went about this all wrong.
I really feel like the Trumpcampaign should have just
owned it and they should have...Trump should have come out
and said "We made Michelle'sspeech great again."
-Like, that's... They sh...-Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah. -That was the greatestplagiarized speech ever.
It was huge.They should just own it.
The blacks did itbut we made it great.
-Cultural appropriation, yeah,yeah, yeah. -Yeah, thank you.
-Cultural appropriation, yeah.-And it really is.
Now, the best part,the best part was at the end
of her speech,when he comes out to hug her--
I think we have the clip of it--he comes out to hug her...
-Uh-huh. -...and then he justpoints at her boobs.
Like... There it is,there it is!
He's like, "Yeah! That's it.
That's it." That's just like...
I guess the J stands for"jugs" I guess. I mean...
He's just like, he's like,"Yeah, I'll put my arm
half around her and just pointat the things I care about."
-It's unbelievable.-It is, though, if-if, like,
it-it is a trophy wife.So he's gonna be like,
"You believe I did this?" Youknow what I mean? Like, he's...
This is how we...Go ahead, go ahead.
My heart goes out to her. She's,uh, speaks, like, 12 languages,
a lot smarter than he is,clearly. Uh, she's foreign-born
immigrant and she's marriedto the biggest xenophobe
on the planet.So, I mean, it-it's...
But she knew what she wasgetting into.
-She only speaks five languages,first of all. -Did she really?
-Well, she can...-Yeah, of course she knew
-what she was getting into.-But Robin... -But she can steal
-in seven languages. - ...shecan only plagiarize in three.
Right? You beat me to the joke,you beat me to the joke!
-(bleep)! -Wait a minute--plagiarism! Plagiarism!
All right, we'll be right backright after this.
-You beat me to that joke!-Plagiarism!
-I was there!-(cheering, applause)
YARD: If you live in the New York City area
or are planning to visit, grab free tickets
to The Nightly Show.